Infinity | Sequel to Right Now |

Messy, baby.

Virginie's Point of View

January 7th

Columbia has everything to intimidate me.  The building is tall and in the heart of London.  There are lots people walking outside as well as inside the glass walls of the music company.  Everyone is super elegant with classy suits when I am wearing one of H's Hawaiian shirt showing my bra way too much the way he usually wears it.  I try to get it more elegant by tucking the shirt inside of my skinny jeans, but being surrounded by that many people and the way I am dressed makes me realise the image I am giving to people. 

I stop walking as everybody else heads to the office.  I notice a restroom and sneak inside.  Panic is getting a hold of me.  What will happen?  Do I want exposure or not?  Will they allow me inside the office or not?  Will they blame me, like I blame myself, for all of H's misfortune?  Will they judge how I am dressed?  I shouldn't have dressed like that.  The way I look encourages promiscuity and that is the last thing I want.

I walk to the mirror and place both of my hands on the sides of the sink to get a hold of myself.  The cold helps, but I need to control my breaths.  I take a deep breath and gather my courage to look at myself in the mirror.  My breasts are largely revealed and I shouldn't do that. 

I stand up straight and rush my hands on the shirt, under my jacket, to button it up when Glenne comes in.

"Hey?  What happened to you?"  She frowns at me, seemingly worried.

"I'm sorry.  I just...  I am just dressed way too inappropriately. I mean... Look at me."  I point my cleavage and let my hands fall to my sides.

"You look gorgeous."  She smiles at me, bringing her hands to undo the button I just did.

"This is not what I mean..."  Her eyes meet mine and she gently takes my shoulders into her hands.

"Look Gynie, I won't try to know what you have been through or what you are going through right now. I can only imagine how hard this must be, but you don't have to change a single string of hair.  Don't keep yourself from being who you are because of what happened, it isn't what caused it.  The problem isn't you and will never be you, it's him."  She resonates with me and I get shivers of disgust when she talks about Goodman.

"I know, that's what my therapist said, but I can't help but to still get scared."

"You are not alone.  You can talk to us.  Harry cares so deeply for you and Jeff and I too, we are friends before work, you know?"

"Thanks Glenne.  That's exactly what I needed."  I smile softly and she returns it as she brings a hand to my cheek and rub her thumb comfortingly.

"No problem.  I get how stressful this must feel."  She quickly pulls me in a hug and I kind of associate her presence as a big sister and I love it.

"It's insane..." I pull away and roll my eyes to how crazy the anxiety has been running me.

"What do you say if we go to the spa tomorrow.  It could really help us calm down for a bit."

"I would like that.  Thank you Glenne."  I sigh gratefully and smile wide.  That's a great idea.

She opens the door for me and I walk out of the room looking left and right for the direction to go back to H, because today isn't about me, it's about supporting him and be by his side.  Glenne joins my side and guides me to the elevator the men are waiting us at.  From the look on H's face, I know he is worried, but I don't want another thing to add to the list of the stressful thing he has to worry about today.