Don't Let Me Drown

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Virginie's Point Of View



December 18th



Dear Diary,
I'm bored. 
Here is the lexicon of my day.
Telly.  Tears.  Ice Cream.  Movie.  Tears because of the movie.  Tears because of no more ice cream.  Tears because I am craving Skittles.  Tears because it makes me think of Matt.  Tears because I miss my best friends.  Tears because I miss Harry.  Tears because I lost everything.  Bowl of sausages.  Pickles with Cheryl.  Glass of milk.  Titanic.  More tears, as if it wasn't enough already.  Liam bought me Skittles.  Hug.  Tears because Liam is being a blessing to me.
Note to self:  Get up.
The couch is my best friend.
Liam was trying his best to convince me to come to the studio with him tomorrow.  I honestly didn't want to, but he told me we would go Christmas shopping and I felt obligated to agree because of the date, it's Christmas in a week.  Cheryl got mad that he didn't have anything ready so I tried to have his side since I am really not into the spirit this year.  I love them.  They are being so good to me.

Dear Diary,
It's nearly midnight and I can't stop looking at the ceiling.  I am tired of crying.  I am not sad anymore, I am angry.  Angry at myself.  I mean look at me.  You can't.  You are an app on my cell phone.  Meaning you could, possibly, see me and that would be creepy.  But the world gets all '1984' on us these days and we are always being watched.  I just turned on the lights because I'm so creeped out.  I'm creeping myself out.  I feel the madness getting to me.  That's it, I'm going crazy.  I'm going to die from madness. I can already picture what my grave will say about me.  'Here lies Virginie.  Loving daughter and loving too many other men that she lost everything and succumbed into darkness and drowned into her own mind.'  OUCH!  You just dropped on my face you fucker.  I think it's a way for destiny to tell me I should put you down for my own sanity.  What sanity?!



December 19th



I got up this morning with my left foot.  I am so clumsy that it is driving me mad.  I wore my shirt upside down all morning until Cheryl told me so.  I put salt in my coffee instead of sugar.  I realised on our way to the studio that I forgot my scarf, so I am freezing the second I walk outside from the car to the studio. 

Once we get inside, Liam takes my coat and shows me quickly around.  I meet some people and I feel uneasy being surrounded with people I don't know, in an environment I don't know.  We get into the booth and Liam is being very casual with the man sitting at the console, nodding to the music he listens to.  He introduces me and I take place on the black leather couch in this wooden and warm room. 

Liam needs to record some vocals and he assured me it wouldn't take long.  I love seeing how everything works.  Liam sounds amazing and needs to harmonise with his own voice.

After an hour, Liam comes back to me and decides to amuse me by asking if I want to be recorded on the three songs he is recording today.

"Are you fucking out of your mind?"  I let out spontaneously.

"No, I'm not."

"I can't sing, Liam."

"I never asked you to sing.  I have to studio booked for another hour and I really want to try some arrangements before we leave.  I thought about adding percussions and finally maybe record you as a back vocal."

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