Marvels Of Fate

I'll Be Ruined

I shut my eyes, as the nurse's wheel me out of the labor room and into a private ward. Delivering a child is definitely not the easiest feat I've had to perform in my life and I rather not do it again. However, seeing my little one come out definitely washed off 90% of the pain. My body is completely drained though and I can now feel my muscles crying out in pain.

"Can I get a Panadol, or something?" I ask the nurse, who's situated on my right side. She smiles sympathetically at me and nods her head.

"Of course, Ma'am. We will be providing you with some pain relief meds in a short while," she says. I nod my head, shutting my eyes again. "We'll be bringing your baby over soon for feeding."

"Okay," I murmur. All I need right now is a good night's sleep, but I know I won't be getting that any time soon because of my little one. I throw my hand over my face, and shield myself from the bright lights of the hospital. Suddenly, Harry's face flashes across my face, and I can feel his touch again. Why was he so supportive all of a sudden? I can't have him confusing my emotions at a time like this when my hormones are out of control. It makes everything so bloody complicated!

"Hey, girl," Kate whispers. I open my eyes to find her seated beside me on a stool, reaching towards my hand. I take hers in mine and smile.

"Hi," I whisper. Kate grins, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"So how does it feel to be a mother? Do you feel more mature because I certainly did." Kate laughs, uplifting my mood already.

"No, not really, but I am excited. All I want to do right now is kiss my young one," I smile at the thought.

"And you will, very soon. Liam and Harry will be here soon," Kate squeezes my hand. My smile falters at the mention of Harry's name. Kate notices and switches her expression to serious mode. "I have to talk to you."

"Yeah, that'd be good. W-What happened a while back?" I ask, furrowing my brows.

"Harry...has matured as well. He has come to the realization that he's better off with you in his life, and his kid."

"My child is not his child," I snap. That came out harsher than I expected. "Sorry," I mumble.

"Mus, whether you want to accept it or not, Harry is the father of your baby. He wants in and I think you should give him another chance."

"I can't, Kate, I can't." I shake my head. "The fact that he bailed on me months ago proves what kind of a man he is and I just won't be able to bring myself to love him, or trust him anymore."

"We're here!" Liam sings, entering the room with Harry close behind his heels. Liam is holding a bunch of blue balloons in his hand that keep smacking him in the face. "Stupid balloons," Liam hisses. I laugh as he makes his way in. Harry is holding a couple of paper bags. Both of them enter and move towards the side of my bed.

"Congrats, Mus!" Liam exclaims, placing the balloons beside the bed. "When do we get to see the babe?"

"Whenever the nurse brings him in for feeding," I reply. "Till then we all have to wait patiently."

"I swear to God this feels like I'm back in the hospital in L.A, when Kate had given birth. The excitement levels are the same," Liam grins. "Since this was quite unexpected, being the 8th month and all, Harry and I just had enough time to grab a few things from the gift shop. Hope those'll do?"

"You didn't have to, but thank you." Liam squeezes my hand and takes a few steps back. He looks over at Harry, and nods his chin toward me. Hesitantly, Harry steps over toward me and gets down on his knees beside my bed. He takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it. I'm taken aback by his action, words vanishing off the tip of my tongue. The room falls silent, no one uttering a word. I turn my head away from Harry, and lock eyes with Kate. She jerks her chin toward Harry in the least subtle way possible. I give a slight shake of the head.

"Liam, do you wanna, maybe, go get some coffee?" Kate questions, getting up. Liam is right behind her in a second.

"Sure thing. What about you guys?" Liam asks, turning around.

"A coffee would be nice," I say. He nods his head, shows me a thumbs up and then both of them depart, leaving Harry and I in the room.

"You'll be more comfortable on the stool," I say. Harry gets up and makes his way to the other side of the bed. He seats himself and takes my other hand in his.

"We need to talk, Bump." Harry says, rubbing his thumb in circles at the back of my hand.

"Don't call me that!" I snap, frowning. "I'm just Mus to you."

"Okay," Harry nods his head. "I'm the father of our child, Mus. You...Please don't take him away from me." I purse my lips.

"Give me one reason why not." I try my best to keep my tone calm because I do not have the energy to endure a blow up right now.

"Because I love you both." I scoff, and divert my gaze to the ceiling.

"Oh, and where'd that love go when I was dealing with everything myself? Where'd that love go when my pregnancy didn't match your fucking schedule." I grip the bed sheet, my hand trembling with rage. "Where did that fucking love go Harry, when I was struggling to sleep at night and your fucking friends and music was on full volume? Where did that love go, Harry?!" I yell, losing all of my self-control.

"It never ended, or disappeared." Harry says, his tone gentle. "I was just too big of a fool to realize it."

"That's just it! I can't deal with an immature man, who makes mistakes of that size and then just comes back, wanting to clean up his mess." I place my hand on my forehead and squeeze my temples with my fingers. "I just can't."

"Bum-Mus, you've given me so many chances before, please just give me one more. That's all I ask," Harry pleads. "One more and this time, I swear to God, the Earth can shift off its axis, but I will not break your trust, or put you through pain." I fix him with my gaze to find desperation clouding his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. Harry joins his hands together in a prayer gesture and leans toward me.

"This'll be too big of a punishment to deal with. Please Mus, don't do this to me. It'll destroy me," Harry begs. I clench my jaw, keeping my expression stoic.

"Well, maybe that is exactly what needs to be done. Harry, you'll realize that actions have consequences and that you can't abandon someone just like that. It's cruel, and...just for one second think what I went through. How - How can you expect me to trust you again after that?" Harry shuts his eyes, a tear rolling out of his eye.

"Please," he whispers. "I'll be ruined." I turn my head away from Harry because I cannot bear to see him in this state and I fear that I'll concede. "I can't lose you and now our child. I've had to deal with losing you before and I don't want to go through that again. Please, Mus. I'll do anything. Just...Just please."

"Please leave, Harry." I say, my voice cracking at the end. "I don't have the energy to argue, or deal with this right now. Please just go and make this easier on both of us." I don't know what time Harry leaves, or when I start crying. All I know is that as much as this hurt Harry, it has hurt me ten times as much.