Marvels Of Fate

Comfort

A/N: Double Update!!!
Harry's POV
We're making our way toward the graveyard, my arm wrapped around Mus' shoulders. It's a windy day and her body is occasionally shuddering. Her eyes are trained to the ground. She's letting me be her guiding hand and the thought makes me smile internally, even through all of this.

"We're here." I whisper, stopping. There's a crowd of four people; seven, including the three of us. I haven't seen any of them before, except for Louise. She offers me a tight smile, her eyes flitting over to Mus. I tighten my hold on Mus, as she raises her head and stares straight at the coffin. It's placed on the ground, with the four people standing at the foot of it. Mus makes her way over to it and takes a seat on the ground beside it. She places an arm on it and leans her head against the wood. No one says anything, they just watch her.

"You need to take her away from here." Tyler says, stopping beside me. "Divert her mind. Make her forget. Please." I nod my head, my eyes stuck on Mus.

"Yeah," I say. "I will."

"Thank you." Sincerity and gratefulness is dripping from Tyler's voice. "You're the only one who can help her now."

"You'll handle everything here, right?" I ask, even though I know her work is a minor concern right now.

"Of course. It's already taken care off. Keep her as far away from here as long as it takes. Then bring her back, if you deem it fine. Otherwise, keep her there."

"She'll wanna come back eventually. And I'll let her when she does because I know Mus, and I know she's a fighter. This is just a really hard blow. You'll have to give her longer to recover from this." Mus' back is to me, but I know she's sobbing because her whole body is shaking. However, this time I don't go to her side. She needs some time alone, everybody does. I'm gonna take care of her, but also allow her her space. Otherwise, Mus will push and fight against me.

"Shouldn't we hasten this up? The sooner the better?" Tyler questions, his eyes also monitoring Mus.

"No, give her time to grieve. If we don't, she's going to turn on us." I say, knowing my love's behavior. "You guys don't have to stay. Leave whenever you feel the need to."

"I'll make sure to convey that message to the rest, but I'm staying till whenever."

"How long do I have, Harry?" Mus chokes out, her head buried in the crook of her arm.

"Take however long." I say, jogging over to her. I take a seat beside her and place my hand on her shoulder.

"He's gone," Mus sobs. "H-He had...a year."

"I know, love, I know." Mus wraps her arms around me and buries her face in my neck. "Death is unpredictable."

"I didn't have...e-enough t-time." Mus' tears flow down my neck and soak the front of my shirt.

"Trust me love, you made his last years memorable. I bet he's smiling right now," I assure her. Mus shakes her head.

"I couldn't save h-him. I wanted t-to," Mus hiccups. "I p-promised myself I w-would."

"Some promises can't be kept, Mus." I hug her tighter, trying to offer her as much of my warmth as I can. "You tried. You helped. That's all that matters." Mus shakes her head, moving her body away from mine. She stares at me through her leaking eyes.

"He w-was m-my c-child." Mus covers her mouth with her palm, and her eyes squeeze shut with pain. "He's g-gone."

"I know, love." I whisper, taking her other hand in mine. "But you're never gonna forget him. He'll always be in your heart and mind." I feel pathetic even saying these words because I know they're useless. Seeing her crying in this manner, makes tears prick the corners of my eyes. "There was honestly nothing you could do, love."

"H-He shouldn't h-have l-left me." Mus' sobs are turning more hysterical by the second, making me concerned about her health. She's been crying since yesterday, has barely eaten anything and she's in so much pain - Lord, she's going to get sick.

"Stop crying, love. Joshua wouldn't want this for you," I say. Another choked sob escapes her lips.

"I c-can't." Mus places the heel of her hand to her eye. "There's t-too m-much p-pain."

"Yeah, there is." I pull Mus into my chest again. "You're allowed to feel pain." I rock her back and forth slowly, her sobs subsiding as time passes. I don't realize when the evening turns to night, or when everyone else leaves. But very soon, it's only Mus, Tyler and I. Tyler, however, has shrunk into the shadows, for which I'm grateful. Finally, Mus sniffs and moves out of my arms.

"I'm ready." She says, her tone wavering. This is what I wanted; I wanted her to be ready. It's all gonna be easier in this manner. I get up and nod to Tyler. He's up in an instant, his phone already in his jacket pocket. Mus stands up as well and strokes the coffin one last time, before stepping back and hugging herself. I don't know if this gesture is one of comfort, or to warm herself. Tyler and I both grab the handles on the sides of the coffin and hoist it up. We move towards the open space in the ground and lower it slowly, until it's completely placed inside. For some reason, I can't bring myself to pick up the shovel. I know that...I know that Joshua is gone. But I just can't. Last time, I wasn't around to watch the kid get buried, but here I am today. And I just can't. It feels wrong. Tyler - and for this I'll forever be grateful to him - grabs the shovel and begins to cover the coffin with fresh dirt. My eyes are transfixed on the coffin, as I watch the dirt pile onto it - hiding it from sight. Once Tyler is done, he places the shovel beside the grave and looks up at me. But instead of seeing me, his eyes pass right through me. I turn around to see what he's staring at. It's Mus. Her back is turned toward us and I have a feeling she didn't watch any of the activities that we just performed.

"We're done." Tyler announces, interrupting the silence. Mus nods her head, without turning around and makes her way towards the gate of the graveyard. I follow behind her, close enough to catch her if she falls, but far enough that I hope it seems like I'm not being too sticky. Tyler walks beside me, his hands in his pockets. I like the way he knows when not to speak and when to give space to others.
*********

"Here." I say, holding a glass of water and a sleeping pill towards Mus. She takes both items from my hand and places them on the bedside table.

"I'm fine," Mus mumbles. I sit down in front of her legs and take her hands in mine.

"No, you're not and quite honestly, I don't think you're going to get any better if you stay here." I say, trying make Mus meet my gaze, but she's staring at our hands that are placed on her lap.

"Where else will I go?" Mus questions, shaking her head.

"With me," I answer hastily. "We'll go to L.A. Liam's there and so is Kate! I'm sure you'll feel better. Please love, let me help you." Mus nods her head. I smile, and stand up. Mus' arms snake around my arm, and she presses the side of her head to my stomach.

"Thank you Harry." Mus says, her voice breaking. "Thank you for being here. Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Mus. You know I'll always stand by you," I tell her. Mus releases me and lies down on the bed. She turns around, her back toward me and tucks her legs. She's lying towards the center of the bed, so instead of going to my side of the bed, I just get in behind her. I wrap my arms around Mus' body, spooning her.

"Sweet dreams, love." I kiss the back of her head and sit up to grab the blanket. I pull it over us and shut my eyes, loving the scent of her hair and body. I don't know how but I can find comfort in this woman, even in the worst of times. She doesn't even have to do anything. All I need is her presence.