I'm Gonna Love You Like I'm Gonna Lose You

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"What were you guys doing in there, churning butter?" Kate asks, her arms flying around everywhere. "This food," she nods toward the bar, "Smells bloody good! So I suggest you both get your asses here before Liam and I lick the plates clean." Harry places his hand at the small of my back and steers me toward the kitchen. Kate and Liam have already seated themselves at the bar, plates and cutlery placed in front of them.

"Oh, I forgot!" Harry hisses, making a beeline for his room. Pouting, I take a seat at the bar, and grab a plate. He comes rushing back in a few minutes later and places a walkie-talkie on the bar. "It's for Champ." Harry explains, when he notices our questioning stares.

"Oh," I murmur. "Smart thinking." Harry grins and climbs onto the stool beside me. He grabs the pancake plate, and offers it to me. I take it eagerly, forking out four pancakes onto my plate. Chocolate chips are embedded in each pancake, the aroma making my stomach grumble.

"God, these are fucking tasty." Kate moans, as she bites into a pancake. "There's something different about them." She cocks an eyebrow at Harry. "What's your secret?" Kate wiggles her eyebrows, making Harry chuckle.

"A special ingredient that shall not be revealed," Harry says. She swats his arm, frowning.

"You're an A class asshole, I hope you know that." Kate shoots, narrowing her eyes at him. Harry smiles, shaking his head.

"I prefer not to recognize myself as that." I smile, taking another bite of my pancake. This is what I love about us, this unity and good times that we share among each other. The sad part is they don't last long. Very soon I'll be out of here, and my two best friends will be back in L.A. Then we'll all fall into the usual flow of things, and rarely get to meet. The baby monitor crackles, and crying fills our ears, cutting down Kate and Harry's friendly banter. Immediately, Harry is on his feet.

"I'll get it!" He yells, bolting towards the room where Champ's lying. I'm right behind him, as we enter the room to find him wriggling, and crying in the cot. Harry gets to the bars of the cot, and then stops. He looks at me questioningly. I nod my head, gesturing toward Champ with my hands.

"Go for it," I say. Grinning, Harry bends forward, and takes Champ in his arms. "Careful," I whisper.

"Always," Harry answers. He gently rocks Champ back and forth, the cries receding in a minute, or so. To be quite honest, I'm impressed with Harry's child handling skills.

"You're doing a good job," I compliment. Harry smiles, pride radiating off him.

"I'm experienced where kids are concerned. You know, James' kid, Lux, and the hundreds more that I've handled." Harry shrugs nonchalantly, laughing.

"Whoa there, reign in your horses." Champ's completely stopped crying by now and is once again sound asleep.

"Okay, maybe not hundreds. But a bunch, yeah." Harry says, gazing down at the child in his arms. The affectionate gaze that he is casting on Champ, makes me second guess my decision to keep this man out of my child's life. Harry smiles, and shifts Champ's weight to one arm. With his other hand, Harry places his index finger on Champ's chin. "You're an angel," Harry whispers. I shift from foot to foot, strongly feeling like I'm intruding on a private moment. As quietly as I can, I make my way backwards and exit the room. The last thing I see before turning around and heading back towards the kitchen is Harry cradling Champ, a smile still playing across his lips.

"God, this is complicated," I mumble to myself. Kate and Liam are both staring at me, eyebrows raised.

"Get a life." I say, flicking my wrist to dismiss their queries.
********

"You've been holding him for the past 2 hours. Wanna put him down, yet?" I ask, entering the room where Harry is seated on a chair, Champ still neatly tucked in his arms. Harry looks up at me, smiles and shakes his head.

"Not yet, Bump." Harry says, his gaze landing back on Champ. "Um, sorry." He mutters, probably realizing his mistake.

"That's okay," I mumble. I take a seat on the chair beside Harry.

"I know you don't believe me, and this'll sound insane since I've only known this little guy for a day, but I love him. He is the second love of my life," Harry says.

"I believe you," I murmur. I do. For some odd reason, even though he didn't care about Champ for 9 months, I know he does now. The love is radiating off of Harry.

"Thank you." Harry looks up at me, his eyes dancing with life. "For believing my words. Really, thank you." I nod my head, playing with the ring on my finger. Silence follows, as I watch Harry gently rock Champ. It seems like Harry has forgotten about the rest of the world and Champ is the only person in this world other than him.

"Where does this lead us, Mus?" Harry asks, after a while. I furrow my brows, unsure what he means. "I mean, us as a family. Are you really going to take our child away from me?" This time I don't correct him. I don't claim Champ as my own because it doesn't feel right to do so.

"I have to leave, Harry. It's not like I can stay here with you, not being with you." I say, and Harry nods, understanding my words. "I-I don't know yet, whether or not I want Champ to know his dad. I mean..." I shake my head, unsure how to put my feelings into words. I don't wanna start the same argument right now, and ruin the perfectly good mood. "I'm a mess. Just give me some time to sort my thoughts out."

"The press has already made it known to the world that Champ's mine," Harry says. "There's no hiding the truth, Bump - Mus."

"They no nothing for sure, Harry. That's actually another one of my concern," I pick at the black nail-polish on my feet. "I'm not too keen on allowing Champ an insight to your world." Harry's head snaps up to look at me, his eyes widening.

"B-But it's not like I can a-avoid that." He manages to stutter out.

"I know, but I can avoid it. I know the amount of hate I've received. Remember when Freddie was born, Louis, his family and the kid dealt with such harsh words. Do you really want Champ to go through that?" I ask Harry, truly seeking his reply. He fumbles for words because the only adequate reply is the one he doesn't wanna give. After a while, I nod my head. "Exactly," I murmur. I get up and make my way towards the door.

"You coming? We're all gonna watch a movie," I say. Harry shakes his head.

"Since I don't know how long I get with Champ, I'd rather savor every minute." Harry says, offering me a tight smile. I nod my head, and exit.

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