Breaking Ice

Chapter 54

Isaac's POV:

I put on some cologne and waited for mom to come home from work to drive me to therapy.

"Ice are you ready to go" Luke yelled coming through the front door

"Where?" I asked squishing my eyebrows together

"To see Peter, your mom's hair client is running late so she can't leave so here I am" Luke said

"Thanks Luke" I said walking out into the car

"How was school?" he asked

"Carly and I broke up but besides that nothing" I shrugged

"What happened?" He asked concerned

"She cheated on me and I've just been stressed out and haven't been in a good headspace" I said

"I'm sorry buddy, you deserve better you're a good kid" Luke half smiled

The rest of the ride to Peter's office was quiet. Luke was listening to musicals as usual, if it wasn't some time of musical it was acoustic pop-punk. The man was weird. He seemed happier since Steve and him had gotten back together. They weren't around as often but it was probably best for them.

Luke dropped me off and I signed in, waiting to be called. There was a few adults and some kids my age in the waiting room. After a while mom stopped coming and I just came in on my own. It made these appointments way easier because she was always asking Peter questions and smothering me.

"Isaac" Daniele smiled from behind the desk

I got up and walked into Peter's office. His glasses were up on his head and had some new records on his shelf. As usual I went over and picked a new one to put on.

"How are you today?" Peter said acknowledging me

"Worse than last time but better than the first" I said

"What's been going on?"

"My dad's back, he faked his own death like the dramatic asshole he is and shows up like nothing ever happened" I said annoyed

"Are you still sober?" he asked raising an eyebrow

"Yeah almost 3 months" I smiled

"Good, stay that way until you're twenty one then you can do what ever you want, in moderation"

"I thought therapist weren't supposed to tell me how to live my life" I laughed

"Fuck off" he laughed "your dad being back how has it effected you?"

"He's acting like there's nothing wrong. He lied to us for 13 years. I've harbored so much guilt over his death my whole life I've thought it was my fault, as you know and he acts like it's nothing" I said "him and mom are back together as if nothing happened"

"People deal with grief in different ways, your mom has wanted nothing but to see your dad again and now here he is, they're making up for lost time"

"It's disgusting, they're making out at breakfast and he's never wearing a shirt and she's always wearing his clothes"

"That's how adult relationships are Isaac"

"It's gross"

"Did he read your notebook like I told you?"

"Yeah"

"What did he say?"

"I haven't seen him"

"Did writing help you?"

"Yeah it has, I think it's been one of the key parts in keeping me sober because it's helped me express emotion instead of suppressing it"

"That's great, mentally how are you?"

"Uhm, angry, confused and sad I guess. I've wanted to drink or smoke that's for sure"

"Isaac you've shown a lot of progress since Steve brought you here I want you to know that. Set backs are bound to happen and this one is the root of all your anger and sadness. Working this problem out with your father and actually listening to him and his story could help you two form a bond again"

"Peter this is really hard for me you know that, I gave him my journal to read what more do we need to talk about"

"Tell him more about your bad days maybe bring him next week and we can work on this together. You know I do family therapy as well"

"I know, we'll see" I said standing up

"Is your mom out there?" He asked

"No Luke dropped my off" I smiled "thanks Peter"

"See you next week" he said opening the door

    I walked out of the building and hung out in the parking lot for a bit before Luke texted me saying he was stuck at the theatre. I decided to walk home, a little fresh air never hurt anybody. It was chill but it made me feel better. My session with Peter went better than I thought it would be, I was pretty sure I would have been a crying mess. We didn't talk about Carly at all or the rest of the family which made me feel a bit better. There was quite a bit more that I wanted to talk about but an hour is an hour.

     Steve and Luke not living with us was weird. My entire life they had lived with us and now with them being gone and dad being back made everything much more complicated.

I can't wait to be done with school and go off to Cincinnati for film school. I'll be away from all of this craziness.

   Dad was seeing grandma tomorrow and I was nervous. She still wasn't alright, in the matter of 3 years she lost her husband and her oldest child. She's wanted to move out of the house for years but couldn't because of the memories it held. Teaching all of her children to walk, Dad's loud drums, all the school projects, and the many Christmas' spent there. She loved that old house but also felt like she was trapped.

   I finally made it home and immediately took a shower to warm up. Fuck it was cold. It's going to snow soon, I can feel it. When the snow falls everything feels gray and my chest feels tight. Gotta love having depression living in Ohio.

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A/N

   Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! This may be the last chapter for a while.

A lot of you may now that I live in Florida and unless you live under a rock there is a huge ass storm coming our way. Wish us luck my guys. Stay safe fellow Florida pals.

Q: How are you guys doing?

-Izzy