Breaking Ice

69

Amelia:

It's been a few days since I last saw Josh. After he left me on the trampoline I took in everything we had talked about before going inside to find him. According to Isaac, Josh left as soon as he got back in the house. Since then nobody had heard from him and it feels like it's all my fault. Why couldn't I tell him that I love him and only him. That he's the only person I've truly ever been in love with. Why do I make everything so difficult?

"Hey mom can you bring me and the guys to the mall?" Isaac asked bounding down the stairs

"Yeah of course. " I smiled heading towards my room.

"Is everything okay mom?"He asked

"Not right now but it will be." I said with a nod

"Did Josh do something?" He asked

It is still weird to me that he calls his father by his first name.

"No Ice it's me this time. Also I appreciate your concern but you're still my kid and I don't want you worrying about me and my relationships, alright? Just because Josh isn't here doesn't mean you have to be the 'man' of the house" I tell him. "I can handle myself"

"I'm sorry Mom." He shrugs

"You don't need to be sorry Ice. I know you have the best intentions. I need to start being a better mom to you and Hayden. I've been slacking the past few months and I feel like I've missed out on so much by being so overwhelmed with something as dumb as dating" I sigh

"It's fine mom. You're a human you are entitled to romance, as gross as that is for me to say. You haven't been slacking. You are the best mom a kid could ask for. How many parents have weirdly deep emotional conversations with their kids about feelings and are truly open with their kids? None. Just us Dun's"

"I love you Ice. You are so smart and are basically an 85 year old man under all that ocean colored hair" I smile fluffing his hair

"I try" He smiled "I love you too"

After he walks away I start getting ready for the day. I straightened my hair before putting on some light makeup. After dropping the kids off at the mall I'll probably just go hang out with Steve at Caps. Who knew that my thirties would consist of me hanging out at a bar all day? Being a grown up is fun.

Isaac and I made all the stops to pick up the rowdy group of teenagers that eat all the food in my house once a week.

"Hey Jax have your parents heard from Josh at all?" I ask not knowing if I want the answer.

"No we haven't seen him since Christmas. Dad's been super stressed about it." She sadly smiles "Mom says she misses you though"

"We need a girls night" I say

We haven't had a girls night since before Jordan and Sky got divorced. Ashley, Jenna, Sky and I used to go into town and stay out until two in the morning doing dumb stuff. Sky and I's main goal in life's to corrupt Jenna which only happened once or twice. A girl can dream.

We reached the mall and all five kids jumped out.

"Be careful. Don't get kidnapped. Xavier keep an eye on them." I yell before driving off.

The drive to Caps was short as it was generally fifteen minutes away from everything. Pulling into the parking lot I noticed a hauntingly familiar license plate. SP00KY. Josh was here. Nervously I walk into the building, neither Steve or Luke were in sight only Dan.

Josh was sitting as far away from the other bar guests as he could get with his laptop set up next to him.

"Hey" I say as I take the seat next to him.

"Hey" He says shutting his laptop "I was just leaving"

"No you weren't. Josh can we talk"

"Now you want to talk" he huffs.

"Yeah Josh, why haven't you been answering my texts. I was worried"

"That I skipped town again you don't need to worry about that. I was giving you the space you wanted Amelia. You can't get mad at me for doing what you asked of me."

"I know Josh. I'm sorry."

"Is that it? Can I leave now?" He sighed

"Can we go to a booth and talk"

"That's all we do is talk. We talk and talk but never get anything figured out. One of us always ends up walking out or crying. Just tell me what you want. I'm tired of waiting around for you decide if you want to be with me or not. If Ronnie had never ruined our life would you still want to be married to me or would you have left me for Carter?"

"Josh I promised you the day we got married that I'd never stop loving you and that hasn't changed. Even though you mess with my head and have been hostile towards me lately I still love you and only you. The kids are the only people I love more than you in this world and they are half of you. I want you in my life and in theirs. Sure it's going to take some time for everyone to get adjusted but I want you to come back home. For good. No more of this fighting and running away. I want to wake up to you softly snoring in the bed next to me and asleep with your arms around my waist. The past thirteen years have been Hell without you Josh. I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you." I say finally taking a breath. My cheeks were stained with tears and my mouth was dry but I needed to get all of this off my chest.

"Amelia" He said staring at me

"What Josh? Was that not good enough for you?"

Tears threatening to fall.

Josh was just staring at me or rather behind me. Slowly I turned around to see Carter with flowers.

"Carter" I whisper getting up

"I- I thought we" He stutters taking a step back.

"I'm sorry Carter. I really am."

"Was I just a rebound for you? Was everything you said to me a lie?"

"No my feelings for you were real. I didn't want you to find out this way I was going to call you. This wasn't even my plan for today. It's just that he's-"

"He's Josh and it was always going to be him. I wouldn't have ever been able to make you feel the way he does. "

I start to open my mouth but he cuts me off.

"You don't have to lie to me Amelia. I always had a feeling that even though you had feelings for me that they weren't the same you have for Josh. He's your soulmate I understand, it just hurts to actually see it." He says, not with anger or sadness but with understanding.

"I'm sorry Carter. I truly mean that."

"I know" He says walking towards me. He gives me a slight hug before turning around and leaving.

Tears start streaming down my face just when I thought my ducts had dried out. I feel like I just lost one of my best friends. I walk back over to Josh who had open arms. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight as I sobbed into his chest. After pulling myself together and realizing that I was still in Caps I took the seat next to Josh again.

"Do you want to go home?" He asked

"If you come with me" I smile.

Together we walk out hand in hand. For the first time in thirteen years my heart felt steady.

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A/N

I did not have the words "ha ha" next to the chapter number the entire time I wrote this I swear.