Breaking Ice

Chapter 57

Joshs POV:

    After thinking up escape routes I finally got out of the car. Slowly I made it up to the door and knocked. Jordan, with a beard, answered the door. My baby brother looks so old.

"Little brother" I smiled

"Joshy" he smiled crushing me in a hug "come in dude"

We went inside and he gave me a tour of his apartment. I'm so proud of him. His photography lined the walls, this placed just screamed Jordan.

"So what's been going on man" I asked him

"I met a girl when I was traveling a bit and she might be moving in soon" he smiled

"Holy shit that's amazing who is she?"

"This girl Sidney she works at Isaac's school actually" he beamed

"Hold on. Dark hair, scary blue eyes?"

"Yeah"

"No no no" I said shaking my head

"What's wrong with her Josh? You've been off in Portland for 13 years what do you know"

"One how did you know I was in Portland. Two she's who I cheated on Amelia with back when we were first together and three she is also part of why my marriage is over"

"I hired a private investigator cause I knew you weren't dead. I went to the back of the hospital to get some air and saw you getting off the gurney dumbass. Also what do you mean your marriage is over"

"This isn't about me it's about you and Sidney. She's not a good person Jor. She's manipulative and sneaky."

"I don't want to talk about it Josh. You never like anybody I'm into"

"Sky was perfect for you"

"Well that didn't work out man. I loved Sky and I still do, sometimes it doesn't work out" He shrugged

"Amelia told me that you and Sky broke up because after I left you turned into a klepto and started stealing, but if you knew I wasn't dead what the fuck happened"

"I was stealing so I could afford the PI to make sure you were alright. I knew you were in a bad headspace and I wanted to make sure you didn't actually do it"

"Jor" I said squeezing him into a hug

We spent the day talking and catching up, avoiding relationship issues. I didn't want to get into my biggest fuck up part two. He was working as a full time photographer and was traveling a whole bunch. He always had a good eye.

"So earlier you said something about your marriage ending what the hell is that all about. Us Dun boys sure are fucking up huh?" He laughed

"I said some things and I can't really decide if I meant it or not. But before that we were arguing a lot after I told her about Sidney and all that jazzy stuff" I sighed

"What did you say"

"I called the past 23 years a mistake and that I should have left instead of asking her out"

"Fuck, you didn't mean it though right?" he asked shocked

"Honestly I don't have an answer for you little brother"

"She's the best thing to ever happen to you. The kids, the life you guys had was fucking amazing"

"I love the kids but maybe I wouldn't have been so messed up and full of insecurities if we hadn't gotten together"

"You were messed up before her and would have been messed up regardless. Dad dying is what messed you up. Getting bullied in high school is what messed you up, not Amelia."

"We were just so stupid" I said shaking my head

"It was risky yeah but you did it. The odds were against you guys but you did it, got married, had two amazing kids but now it's over and you have to figure out why. I know why because I'm as they like to call me, Houdini. It was everything but a mistake. Now it's your turn to figure it out Joshy " he grinned

"Thanks Jor" I smiled

"If staying at Ty's doesn't work out I have an extra room" he smiled as I left

   Why is it over between Amelia and I? She made the decision before I said anything, that she didn't want to be with me. We both have changed a lot during the past few years but not enough to make us into different people. Sleeping with Sidney probably didn't help but she couldn't be the whole reason. Did Amelia find someone better than me? Maybe it wasn't my fault. This was going to happen whether I stayed or not, right? Nothing is making any sense, nothing has ever made sense between us. I couldn't let my mind rule me any longer, I need to go see her. She's furious with me but it's what I have to do. I should have chased after her last night. I should have apologized.

   Without fully thinking I made it to our-Amelia's house. The front lights weren't on. I had left Tyler's at noon and it was now nine-thirty. I trudged up to the door and knocked.

"Dad what are you doing here?" Hayden asked

"Nice to see you too. Is mom home?" I asked

"She doesn't want to see you and honestly neither do I" She said narrowing her eyes

"Hayden I'm sorry. I don't know what your mom told you but I didn't mean what I said. It just got really heated and I lost control of my words" I sighed

"Come back tomorrow. Mom works from nine to four and then is having dinner with someone at seven."

"Who?"

"None of your business"

"Wow okay. I'll see you later then?" I sighed

"Maybe." She said shutting the door

My kids hate me now too. I knew Isaac did but I never got to talk to him about his journal. This all got so out of hand. Maybe I could've had a relationship with him if I could control my mouth.

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A/N

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed. This book is making me way too Emo for my own good. I feel like I'm losing readers since I'm not getting as many comments and stuff. I don't know.

Q: Should I update my posting schedule?

-Izzy
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