Breaking Ice

71

Amelia

------

I am an idiot. That is the only way to describe me at this point. My life is just a huge figure eight and the middle is just me fucking up over and over again. I'm just so glad Hayden wasn't here to witness this chaos. I should have ran after Isaac, I shouldn't have let him leave.

"Ahme you have to eat something," Josh said handing me some dumplings

"I shouldn't have let Ice leave." I sighed taking the plate

"He'll be back babe, I'm sorry I fucked everything up." He sighed sitting down next to me

"He's just so sensitive and feels so hard."

"I wonder where he gets that from." Josh laughed

"Haha very funny," I said side-eyeing him

"It's not a bad thing. It's what I admire most about you. You're so passionate about the people you love and don't give up on anyone. Remember that time I yelled at Steve and you practically sucked the soul out of my body from just a glare or the time Luke was getting made fun of and you got suspended for smashing the windows on that kid's car. You and Ice are so similar it's scary. You care so much and so hard for everyone you love. The way he is right now is the exact same way you were when I got back. It'll take time for him to forgive me and to feel alright coming back home. I just have to show him I'm really back this time." Josh said

"I'm worried. You haven't been here for when Ice gets bad. It's scary. Since that night on the bridge anytime he runs I fear the worst." Tears were coming out now.

"Amelia call him or that kid that harassed me at Patty's"

"Corey didn't harass you he called you out on your shit, I'll call him to just see if he's heard from Ice. He deserves some space"

I got up out of my crying pit on the couch and made my way to my bedroom to grab my phone. Corey immediately picked up and assured me that Ice was alive but still not doing too well. He told me what Isaac had said and how he was feeling. My heart ached knowing he felt so broken.

"Can I come over to talk to you guys?" Corey asked

"Yeah Cor of course." I said

Not knowing what to do I started tidying up the house while I waited for Corey to show up .I have no idea what he's going to say or do but I know he has Ice's best interest in mind. Corey is honestly the best thing to ever happen to Ice. He's always been there for him and always knows how to calm him down. There was a knock on the door and taking a deep breathe I opened it.

"Hi Mrs.Dun" Corey smiled "I have come on behalf of my client Isaac Dun in regards to the I. Dun vs. J and A Dun trials"

"Corey there isn't a trial but I'm glad you're here" I smiled "Would you like a drink or anything?"

I grabbed Corey a water and a ginger ale for myself. Josh took this as his opportunity to head outside.

"I know you think I'm the worst right now but this is uncharted territory for us right now, they don't teach you how to handle this shit in all those parenting books and classes. I love Ice you know that and I didn't know what to say or do"

"Mrs.Dun I get it. You love Josh and Ice. Hell if I were you I probably would have handled it the same way you have. Ice feels hard which you know, but he just feels like you're choosing Josh over him. I don't know if he expressed his feelings about Josh but he just needs extra time and maybe some more one on one time with him or more family days. The past few months have been a whirlwind with him and Carly breaking up, Josh being alive, bringing Carter and Travis into his life, its overwhelming and too much is changing all at once"

"Wait him and Carly broke up?" 

Isaac never told me

"Yeah before winter break, but that's what you took out of this?"

"No I heard everything and I understand and I want to be able to do family stuff with the four of us but Ice just refuses to be in the same room as Josh let alone have a father son day"

"I'll talk to him and we can form an agreement. Ice just needs some time. You can't expect him to adapt so quickly he's been through a lot. You're his mom and have been through a lot too he doesn't want you to worry about him so he doesn't tell you everything, yeah he tells you a lot but there is still somethings you don't know. Before you ask it's not my place to tell you." Corey sighed

"Have your client call my client when he's ready of course. Let me know when he's in a good place to talk to me and take care of him please."

"Of course. Uh can you give this Josh" Corey said handing me a piece of paper

"Yeah of course. Do you or Ice need anything?" I asked as he walked towards the door.

"No we've got plenty of Monster and Smash Bros" Corey smiled

These kids. I unfolded the piece of paper from Corey and inside was Isaacs hand writing. It was a letter to Josh explaining his feelings and why he is reacting the way he is. This boy really is my kid. He mentions what Jacki overheard at the Joseph's house, the pain he felt growing up without him, and how it seemed that Josh didn't care about any of our feelings. It hurt me to read these things that Ice has to say about his father but I understand where he is coming from. 

"Is he gone?" Josh asked coming back inside. "Wait why are you crying?"

"Yeah he left this for you, its from Ice" I said wiping the tear from my cheek.

I hadn't realized I was crying until Josh mentioned it, that's been happening a lot more lately. 

"I'm sorry I did this to you and the kids Ahme. I love you and want to make it up to you and the kids" He sighed after finishing the note.

"I just want everything to go back to how they were. I miss Sky and I know you have your own feelings on this but I also miss Ronnie. I just can't understand how the both of you got so involved in Mr.D's shit that you had to fake your death Joshua." I sighed

"Everything spiraled and after my dad died I started to spiral and nothing made sense anymore. I'm sorry I put you through all of this, I should have told you about my involvement. I was just so worried about stressing you out since you were pregnant and didn't want to put anyone in even more danger. Amelia" Josh sighed, tears streaming down his face.

I pulled him close and rubbed his back as he sobbed into my shoulder. 

--