Creepypasta Headcannon Oneshots: Book One

The One With The Celery Addiction (feat. jeff's rabbit tendencies)

"Jeff has an unhealthy addiction to celery. He doesn't seem to know he has it though, and everyone is a little afraid to point it out."

"Oi, (Y/N), are you going grocery shopping?"

You turned around from where you were pulling on your winter boots to look at the infamous killer.

"Yes," you replied. "Why? Is there anything you need?" You'd be happy to grab it for him- why make two trips, you thought.

Jeff rocked back and forth on his heels, a true testament to his psychopathy (why he hadn't killed you yet was beyond you- you weren't a creepypasta, he shouldn't be able to care for you) as he mulled over your offer.

"Yeah, actually," he mumbled. "I'm out of celery. Could you pick some up for me?" Your jaw dropped.

"Already?" You couldn't help but ask. "What happened to the four stalks I bought you the other day?" Jeff shrugged.

"I ate them," he said, like it was no big deal. You cocked an eyebrow.

"In four days."

"Yes."

"You actually ate four stalks of celery in four days."

"Yes." Jeff actually looked a little annoyed now. "I've been out for about a day, and I'm already going crazy. Please?" You stared at him for a moment before sighing.

"Sure," you muttered. "But if this keeps up it's coming out of your pocket change!" Jeff grinned.

"Sure, (Y/N). Sure."

With that he turned on his heel and left, singing the knife song as he did so.

You watched him leave for a moment, then sighed and turned back to your wintery clothes.

If you didn't know any better, you'd say Jeff had an addiction to celery.

(There's the next one done. I have to say, I really enjoy writing on Wattpad. I've never noticed before, 'cause I copy-paste my stories from Google Drive, but the font is immensely satisfying to look at.)