Creepypasta Headcannon Oneshots: Book One

The One With The Headcanons (feat. a very strong desire for eye-bleach)

"Lots of creepypasta love reading incorrect creepypasta quotes and headcannons about themselves. They either laugh about how funny they are, go: "ok, how long did this bitch stalk me" when they're insanely accurate, or go bleach their eyes when it's something if the lemon type."

"AHHHH, MY EYES!"

"Jack, you don't even have eyes!" You pointed out, but you as well had a hand over your eyes. "ANYONE GOT ANY BLEACH?"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?" The normally composed cannibal wailed. "ITS BURNED INTO MY BRAIN- OH GOD, THE MENTAL IMAGES, THE MENTAL IMAGES, MAKE IT STOP!"

"What are you two screaming about this time?" Slender asked, poking his head through the doorway. He balked at the sight that greeted him; you, curled up in a little ball, screeching about needing bleach, and Eyeless, clawing at his own eye sockets, muttering about 'erasing it(?) from his brain.'

"Don't worry about them, Slender," Painter said from beside him. His mask was off, allowing Slender to see that slightly pained expression on his face. "They're just reading headcannons." Slender knit his no existent eyebrows.

"What?" Painter sighed and kneaded his temples.

"Headcannons," he said. "You know, the theories the fans come up with for us?" Slender stared at him blankly. Helen sighed before staring up at the ceiling like 'why me?'

"The fans like to come up with theories as to how we act," he explained somewhat impatiently. "I've read a few of them myself. They're ok, some of them are pretty good actually, but others..." He gestured to where you and EJ were having twin fits on the floor. "They can be a bit... raunchy."

Helen can honestly say he's never seen the Slenderman blush, but unless he's greatly mistaken that is a light pink flush welling up on Slendy's features, so...

First time for everything?

"Oh," the faceless entity said, and if Helen wasn't currently keeping his own headcannon flashbacks at bay he'd find the sight of the normally eloquent Slender struggling for words quite funny.

As it is, he's having to hide snickers behind his palm.

"They'll get over it," he assured his distraught companion, who was beginning to look quite worried for his two wards. "They'll just need some time-"

"WHY ARE PEOPLE SHIPPING ME WITH JEFF? WHY ARE THEY WRITING ABOUT THAT?"

Helen winced; "Ok, they've gotten to the fanfiction, this may not go so well."

"WHAT THE HELL WHY IS BEN IN THIS TOO?!" The sound of sobbing was heard.

"I JUST WANT IT TO END!"

"And this is where I take my leave," the Bloody Painter muttered to himself as he quickly fled the scene- Slender could deal with the two canatonic wards in the other room, he decided.

(This was fun to write. Moreso EJ's reactions to the fanfiction... I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.)