"These two argue over the tiniest things all the time. The proxies don't know whether to laugh, or hit their heads against the wall, forcefully and repeatedly."
"YOU'RE DOING THE FUCKING DISHES WRONG!!"
"I'M DOING THEM FINE!"
"YOU'RE DOING THEM WRONG!"
Jeff kneaded his temples, setting down his book with a sigh. Trying to read while those two were in the same room was a fruitless endeavor, as he and (Y/N) had both had the (dis)pleasure of finding out.
"Remind me again," (Y/N) said through gritted teeth, grip gone white-knuckled around his/her/their book. "Why is Zalgo here?"
Jeff sighed again for the nth time in as many minutes; "Fangirls got at his castle," he said tiredly. "Burst a gas pipe in the backyard; he had to camp out somewhere while the maintenance dudes fixed it."
"But why here?"
Jeff frowned and craned his neck back to look at the kitchen; "You know, I'm not rightly sure," he admitted, then jumped a mile when a voice from behind him spoke up; "Slendy owed him a favor."
"Jesus!" You hissed, whirling around to glare at Laughing Jack. "Don't fucking sneak up on me like that!"
"Sorry," LJ said, not sounding sorry at all. He then proceeded to vault himself over the back of the couch, landing next to a very disgruntled Jeff. "But yeah, Slender owed him one, so now he gets to stay here while his mansion is fixed."
He sounded about as pleased with this development as you and Jeff did.
"I'm telling you, they're going to kill each other," he muttered, staring worriedly at the kitchen as Slender and Zalgo's tones reached a new amplitude. "They're going to kill each other and we're going to have to get rid of the bodies."
Jeff snorted; "That'll be a fun activity," he said, then sighed and set his book on the coffee table. "Come on, let's go look for belladonna in the forest or something- if we can't kill anyone with it it's supposed to make your pupils dialate like you wouldn't believe, and that's always fun to watch."
You cocked your head to the side; "You just want to get away from Slender and Zalgo," you observed, and Jeff flushed.
"Well yes, that too," he admitted, paling when the bickering suddenly stopped.
"Out the door, out the door, out the door!" He said hurriedly, pushing you and LJ towards the exit as all hell broke loose behind you.
"NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! YOU'VE GONE AND BROKEN A PLATE-"
"IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR SMACKING IT OUT OF MY HAND-"
"I DIDN'T SMACK IT, YOUR OWN LACK OF COORDINATION BROUGHT THIS UPON YOU-"
"RIGHT, SQUARE-GO LIKE-!"
(So, storytime: I went back and reread some of my old headcanons (finally fucking learned to spell it) and while I didn't feel any overwhelming desire to write more, I did feel nostalgic for the Noodles and the community the books amassed over the years, so now I'm back for as long as my schoolwork will permit me :)
Also- you'll notice that in terms of possessive pronouns/personal pronouns I've used him/her/them and his/hers/theirs for (Y/N); I've tried to make it as open as possible but I am by no means a gender expert so if there's any super glaringly obvious ones I've missed, please let me know. (In saying that, if there's an inordinate amount, I might just stick to second person POV, just so the writing flows smoothly.
(Also it should be noted that the working title for this chapter was 'lord z und der grössman' so uh appreciate my creativity I guess.)
YOU ARE READING
Creepypasta Headcannon Oneshots: Book One
FanfictionPLEASE READ NO JOKE VERY IMPORTANT STUFF AHEAD. Well, as you can tell from the mouthful of a title, this is a book of oneshots based on the headcannons from my other books! So, you read as yourself, (second person POV) a victim the Slenderman has...
