Creepypasta Headcannon Oneshots: Book One

The One With BEN's Asthma (feat. jeff's broken nose)

"Because BEN Drowned (haha that's his name) his lungs are rather weak, which is why he has a breathless sort of laugh and wheezes while he runs."

"GET BACK HERE JEFF!" BEN screamed, tearing after the psychopath at, what you liked to call, the speed of fucking sound. In return, Jeff cackled madly and poured on more speed.

"NU-UH, GOTTA CATCH ME FIRST!" he shouted back childishly, waving a familiar game cartridge in the air. BEN's eyes narrowed, red irises glowing brightly, and he doubled his speed.

You watched the scene with something that can be compared to awe in your eyes. You knew being a creepypasta increased one's natural abilities, but it's still amazing to see it in action.

Jeff suddenly caught sight of you, and grinned like a maniac. You froze, eyes widening in horror as he tossed BEN's copy of Majora's Mask at you with a cry of; "catch!"

You did so, miraculously (you shuddered to think of what the concequences would have been had you failed to grab the game out of midair) and immediately, BEN's focus shifted to you.

"RUN (Y/N)!" Jeff screeched as BEN tore after you like a ballistic missile. You of course immediately screamed in terror and fucking bolted, at, what you liked to call, the speed of 'oh my fucking god I am going to die fuCKING MOVE IT OR LOSE IT KID.'

It didn't matter how much experience you had running from people who were trying to kill you, you thought as you frantically rounded a corner. BEN was gonna catch up to you anyways, and the thought terrified you enough to desperately pour on more speed even though you really didn't have much more speed to give.

Just as you thought the computer virus was gonna catch you, the strangest thing happened:

BEN started to slow down.

Well, 'slow down' was a bit of an umbrella term, in actuality, BEN suddenly started hacking up his lungs and had to stop to catch his breath.

"Oi, Jeff," he gasped, motioning blindly towards the serial killer. "Get... The thing." Jeff knit his eyebrows.

"The thing?" He repeated. "BEN, literally everything you own can be classified as 'the thing.' You need to be more specific." The videogame glitch glared at his friend.

"The thing!" He hissed with more emphasis. When Jeff still failed to do anything, BEN rolled his eyes and went through another vicious coughing fit. "Christ Jeff, what the fuck do you think I'm talking about? The thing, you moron."

Jeff's eyes suddenly went wide (if at all possible) and he quickly raced upstairs, nearly tripping over his own two feet in the process. You raised an eyebrow as he ran back down the stairs at an equal speed not a minute later (he really did fall this time, you noted with a wince as you watched Jeff pick himself up off the floor and stumble over to the videogame glitch.)

"Here," he gapsed and pressed a whatchamicallit into BEN's outstretched hand, one hand pinching his nose shut. "You keep yourself from suffocating while I," he pointed to himself. "Am going to go see EJ because I'm pretty sure I broke my nose."

You watched him run off for a bit, then turned back to BEN just in time to see him slip an inhaler into his pocket.

"You have an inhaler?" You asked, surprised. BEN shrugged.

"Yeah," he replied. "What? I'm BEN Drowned, my lungs are practically destroyed. Its a wonder I don't have to use this," he waved his inhaler around. "Every hour." You frowned, putting two and two together. (AN- why is it two and two? Two and two implies that there's two of each thing, and two and two is four. Shouldn't it be one and one? Or wait, .5 and .5? 'cause that makes one?)

"Do you have asthma?" You asked, genuinely curious. BEN shrugged, turning the small inhaler over in his hands.

"Eh, sort of," he muttered. "I'm living with a lake in my lungs though, so it's different." You were about to ask about the 'lake in lungs' part, but then you noticed the tension in BEN's shoulders, and decided to leave the topic alone- clearly it wasn't one he was comfortable discussing.

"Why would you run around then?" You asked, referring to when the computer virus was chasing Jeff around. BEN shrugged.

"I don't usually, in case you haven't noticed," he pointed out. "Usually I'm floating. The only reason I was chasing Jeff on foot was because he surprised me. Besides," he floated over to you and plucked his game out of your hand, startling you. You hadn't realized you were still holding it. "I would rather die a second time than let Jeff hold this for more than 5 minutes." You shuddered.

"Do I even want to know what makes Jeff so untrustworthy of important stuff like that?" BEN stared at his game cartridge, a faraway look in his eyes.

"You don't, (Y/N)," he muttered. "Believe me, you don't."

(Also, yeah, je sais (I know) that people who have a cough-type asthma don't have other symptoms such as wheezing, but this is BEN Drowned, and he's literally got a lake in his lungs, so please excuse this inaccuracy.
Also yeah don't have many chapters stockpiled (I've got like three, including this one) but I've left you guys without a oneshot for too fucking long, so here ya go.)