Creepypasta Headcannon Oneshots: Book One

The One With The Quiet (feat. jeff's freaky obsession with his knives)

"Jeff has a scarily large collection of knives, and he's named every one of them. Several tennents have learned the hard way not to touch them."

It was a peaceful morning, which was how you knew something was going to go wrong.

It was never peaceful at the mansion, you'd come to learn. Either Jeff was chasing Jane around, or Jane was chasing Jeff around (it varied depending on how blood-thirsty and revenge ridden they were) or LJ was launching a mass prank (you shuddered at the thought) or Toby had set fire to something.

For it to be quiet...

It meant something was about to go very, very wrong.

You just didn't think you'd be the one to set things off.

Really, it was an innocent mistake. Anyone could have made it. (Except no, they wouldn't, you beamoned silently, because they knew better.)

All you did was pick up the knife that had been laying on the table (it was a nice knife too, you thought. Probably great for chopping up vegetables) and suddenly, Jeff was in your face, staring at you with such an intensity you nearly fell off your stool in surprise.

"wHAt wERe yoU DoING WitH eLAine?" He hissed, and instantly you were on guard. It was his tone of voice- Jeff didn't leak Sigma into his voice* very often (because it scared him shitless) but when he did, even as an unconscious act, it was undoubtedly the most terrifying thing in the world.

"N-Nothing!" You squeaked, leaning back as far as you could; any further and you'd topple off your chair.

Jeff scowl deepened as he dug his nails into the table; grooves were left behind in the wood.

"LiaR," he snapped. "wHeRE WeRe yoU TAKiNg HEr?"

By now you were absolutely terrified, so when Jeff reached for you, nobody was surprised when you launched yourself out of your chair and ran for it.

You didn't expect Jeff to be so fast though. It didn't take him any time at all to catch up to you, and when he did, he slammed you into the wall and pinned you there, elbow pressed painfully against your windpipe.

"wHAT wEre yOu DoiNG?" He snapped, right into your ear. You whimpered in fear and leaned as far away from him as you could, cringing when he spoke again; "DOn't liE to Me. I HAtE liaRS."

Your breathing had escalated to hyperventilating, and your eyes were screwed shut. If you thought it would do anything, you'd be clawing at Jeff's arm, but the tiny, tiny sane part of you that hadn't been overridden by fear told you that was a great way to lose your fingers.

This was the end, you were sure of it.

Please, let it be fast.

Then, suddenly, Jeff's weight was lifted off you.

Trembling violently, you cracked open one eye to see Jeff suspended above you by a black tentacle.

"LET ME AT THEM!" Jeff snarled, clawing at the air in front of him, inches away from your face. Instinctively, you ducked out from under him and pressed yourself against the adjacent wall, breathing harshly. "I'lL kIll ThE LiAR."

You shuddered and squeezed your eyes shut again as Slender dragged Jeff away, kicking and screaming about tearing you limb from limb.

God, this is why you shouldn't let your guard down! You thought as tears slid past your closed eyes. No matter how gentle or funny they appeared to you, in the end all they were were murderers.

Cold, unfeeling murderers.

When you felt a pressure on top of your head, your eyes snapped open and you scrambled away, eyes wide and breathing erratic.

The blank face of the Slenderman stared back at you, and unless you were greatly mistaken, he seemed to be...

Regretful.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)?" He asked. You nodded shakily, but your breathing hadn't leveled out.

"I-I'm fine," you said, trying to keep your voice level, to no avail. You flinched when Slender reached out to you again, and the entity pulled away.

"Its perfectly alright to be upset, (Y/N)," he said after a beat of silence. "Mortals like yourself aren't used to that kind of thing; you're allowed to be scared." You scowled at the floor.

"I'm not scared." It sounded weak, pathetic even to your own ears, and you knew Slender didn't believe you for a minute. "I just... Why did Jeff react like that anyways?"
Change the subject, always a good tactic when avoiding something.

The faceless entity sighed.

"Jeff has a... hyperfixtation, we'll say, on his knives," he explained. "He doesn't like other people touching them, and when they do, he... Reacts. Violently." You shivered.

"Other pasta react like this too, though on a lesser scale," the Slenderman commented after you stayed silent. "BEN with his copy of Majora's Mask, for example, or Jack with his kidneys, or-"

"I get it," you said quietly, still shaking. "Really, I do," you sighed wearily. "Thanks, Slender."

You pushed yourself off the wall and walked off, trying to ignore the eyeless gaze you could feel boring into the back of your head.

(*Yeah I know I said only proxies can do this but look it fits ok let me have this.
AAAAND WE'RE BACK DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME DIDJA MISS ME?
*Cough* only got seven oneshots stockpiled but whatever whatevs *cough*)