Creepypasta Headcannon Oneshots: Book One

The One With The Return (feat. guest star pitter-patter)

"If a creepypasta naturally generates a liquid (e.g the black goop from EJ's eye sockets, the blood from Sally's head) it will dissapear before it just the ground, unless they're extremely enraged. Nobody really knows how this works, not even Slender."

You weren't sure what really tipped you off that EJ was beyond pissed.

Maybe it was the demonic growling that filled the air.

Maybe it was the way his nails had shaped into claws.

Or perhaps it was that the liquid from his eye sockets was hitting the ground with a small pitter-patter not unlike the sound of rain.

That's what really frightened you- and you couldn't even explain why.

"She's alive?" The cannibal growled, demonic tones wavering through his tone. In front of him, BEN nodded grimly, looking casual enough, but the way his form glitched every couple seconds indicated how afraid he really was.

"Yeah," he said. "Don't know how, but she did."

Pitter-patter.

EJ gnashed his teeth together, clearly angered beyond reason.

"How?" He exploded. "How the hell is she alive?! I ripped her throat out! How?!"

You weren't sure what he was talking about, and, quite honestly, you weren't sure you wanted to- EJ had a past that was best left undiscussed.

Pitter-patter.

"Jack, Jack, calm down," Jeff said, hands up in a peaceful manner. In return, the eyeless cannibal turned to him, teeth bared. Jeff recoiled almost unnoticeably. "We'll just go kill her again, ok? There's nothing to worry about-"

"Like hell there isn't!" Jack shouted, nonexistent eyes wide and scared. "You don't know how much there is at stake here! There's no telling what that bitch will do, who she'll go after-" he froze suddenly, and started trembling. "Oh fuck me, what if she starts another cult to that goddamned demon?" Jeff and BEN exchanged nervous glances as EJ descended into a new level of hysteria, voice wobbling dangerously.

"We've gotta kill her," he said hysterically. "That can't happen to anyone else- it can't."

(The unspoken 'she'll come after me' was loud and clear to those who knew the situation.)

"And it won't," BEN tried to sooth the demon. "Because we'll come up with a plan-"

"Fuck the plan!" EJ exploded, fingers knotted in his own reddish hair. "We don't have time for a plan! You don't know her like I do- she's fucking crazy, prepared for anything! She's probably planning another sacrifice as we speak!" He shook his head rapidly. "If she can survive having her throat ripped out-"

The rest of his sentence descended into rapidly spoken Latin, which was how you knew something was really wrong. From what you knew, EJ only switched to Latin when he was tired, drunk, or...

Scared.

Just who the fuck was this chick? You wondered, a little afraid. What had she done that could unhinge a killer this badly?

Pitter-patter.

"Jack. Jack." BEN clapsed his hands on the cannibal's shoulders, which, you had to admit, took guts- even though BEN was in all seriousness a ghost, you wouldn't put it past EJ to try to take a bite out of him either way.

"Calm the fuck down," he snapped, red irises bright with worry for his friend. "Look, I know you're scared, but we need a plan. You were ok last time with no plan 'cause you had the element of surprise on your side (and newly awakened volatile demon powers,)
but we don't this time. Going in without a plan will get us all killed." EJ stared at the Link look-alike for a second, then took a deep breath, then pushed BEN off.

"Alright," he muttered, voice still shaking slightly. "Fine. Just-"

"You get to kill her," Jeff interupted. "Promise."

The eyeless cannibal didn't reply, rather he stalked off with quick strides.

Black tar was still hitting the floor.

Pitter-patter.

After a moment's hesitation, you made to go after the distraught killer. Toby stopped you.

"I-I wouldn't (Y/N)," he warned. "I-I w-w-wouldn't wouldn't *tic* put it it it past h-him to t-try t-t-to eat y-you when *tic* when he's like this." You shuddered at Toby's words, but tugged your arm out of his grip nevertheless.

"What better way to prove myself then?" You asked. Toby sighed.

"I-I mean, if y-you *tic* w-w-want t-t-to get get killed..." He trailed off, leaving his words hanging in the air.

It didn't change your mind.

"It's y-y-y-your funeral!" He called to you as you ran down the hall after the eyeless cannibal.

~~~

When you found him, EJ was holed up in the corner of his room sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest. You slowed down to the speed of molasses as common sense caught up to you.

What in the ever-loving fuck were you doing, exactly? You were human; Eyeless was a cannibal- Toby was right, he'll eat you while he's like this!

You turned around to leave, when dual tones spoke up, freezing you in your tracks.

"(Y/N)," his voice was soft, let laden with something else, something that made you want to run. "What are you doing here?"

Nervously, you twisted your hands together as you scrambled for a reply; "I-I was worried about y-you," you confessed. "S-So I went... Looking for... You."

EJ was very quiet. You were fucking terrified.

Then, he chuckled, very, very quietly.

"'Worried for me?'" he repeated, something dark and twisted in his tone. "That's a first. Why?"

It felt like your lungs were being crushed, that's how scared you were. But EJ was waiting for a response, and you weren't one to dissapoint.

"Y-You're my friend..." You mumbled quietly, though as of right now, faced with the new reality of a real creepypasta, you weren't sure how true this statement was. "I-I worry about my friends.."

(It was the truth, though, you thought as you waited for EJ to bite your head off. Out of everyone in the mansion, he'd been the most welcoming to you, the kindest, even though you were pretty sure you were a prisoner of sorts.)

You'd deny it vehemently in the future, but when you felt a pair of arms wrap around you you tensed up, ready for the end.

"Relax, (Y/N)," Eyeless drawled from somewhere above you- he was currently resting his head on your own. "This is simply one of your human customs. A 'hug.'"

Your eyes blew wide. EJ... Wasn't going to eat you?

Rather than voice this question, knowing you would most likely offend the cannibal if you did, you elected to wrap your own shaky arms around him and return the hug to the best of your ability.

You felt braver when the demon couldn't see your face, so you voiced the question that had been plaguing you since the episode began; "Jack? Who is 'she?'"

The cannibal shuddered, barely noticeable.

"Someone I'd rather forget," he muttered. "Someone who I'd thought I'd never have to deal with again."

Pitter-patter.

(So, the reason why the Noodles aren't as protective over (Y/N) as usual is because this happened when you'd first arrived at the mansion- they don't know you as well, henceforth they don't... Care about you.
Also, idea, I've noticed that a lot of these oneshots end with loose ends, so if by the end of all the books there are still some plot holes, would you guys like it if I made another book to tie things up?)