Creepypasta Headcannon Oneshots: Book One

The One With The Happy Song (feat. lost silver)

"Most, if not all creepypasta have different things that piss them off, but there is one surefire way to get them going:

Call them by their real name."

You sat hunched in a small alcove you'd discovered hidden away in the hallway, trembling violently as angered shouts and the clash of steel on steel echoed around you.

"I am really special 'cause there's only one of me! Look at my smile I'm so damn happy other people are jealous of me!" You mumbled harshly, hands clamped over your ears. It was your 'happy song,' as you'd dubbed it, and you sang it to yourself whenever things got... Bad.

More shouts, and something that sounded like a knife being shoved somewhere where it really shouldn't go. You flinched and curled further in on yourself.

"This is my handle and this is my spout, but if you tip me over then mama said knock you out!"

By this point you were hyperventilating, there was no other way around it. Your breath was coming in short, shallow spurts, and there were black spots in the corners of your vision.

"I am happy I am good I am gonna heave!" You wheezed. "Welcome to my happy world now get your shit and leave!"

Having finished your song (or what you could remember) you took a huge breath and started again, voice trembling badly.

How did things end up like this? One minute they were fine, the next Jack said something and suddenly Jeff was ready to claw out his throat.

Then Jeff snarked something, and then Jack was ready to tear him a new one, and before you knew it, you were the only one left.

Really, the fact that all the other pasta had evacuated the area was more than enough to get you moving, when Jeff and Jack drew their respective weapons that was just added incentive to get the F outta dodge.

You didn't even know why they were so mad! Like mentioned before, one minute everything was fine, the next they were trying to kill each other!

"O-Oh, are you hiding here?"

You balked, cutting yourself off mid-lyric as you stared up at the ghost floating in front of you.

Lost Silver chewed his lip before turning to go; "You are, it's ok, I'll leave-"

"No, no, you're fine," you said hurriedly and pat the spot next to you. "Quick, in here before they come this way."

Lost Silver nodded before squeezing in next to you. It's a tight fit, but you like Silver, so it's better than the alternative, which is him dying.

Can ghosts die again? You wondered absently. If he were any ordinary ghost you'd say no, but Silver is a creepypasta and the laws of physics tend to bend and warp around them-

"How long have they been arguing?" Silver asked, successfully shaking you out of your reverie. "I was on a grocery run, I just got back a few minutes ago."

Wait why the hell was Silver on the grocery run he doesn't have any arms-

"I don't really know," you confessed. "I kinda lost track of time." Silver sighed.

"That's ok," he said, then shifted his weight. "Is this your first creepypasta fight?" You nodded.

"Of this magnitude," you admitted, and Silver cursed quietly.

"Crap, sorry (Y/N)," he said, and you waved his apology away.

"That's ok," you said. "It wasn't your fault. I am curious, though, what are they arguing about?"

Silver frowned before cocking his head to listen to the angry shouts. He paled a moment later; "Oh sweet Jesus, no wonder they want to kill each other." You paled.

"What? What happened?" You asked. Silver chewed his lip.

"They called each other by their real names," he explained in a voice barely above a whisper, and you tilted your head to the side.

"'Real names?'" You echoed, then shook your head. "Explain please?" Silver sighed.

"Well, you know Jack's pseudonym is 'Eyeless Jack,' right? And Jeff's is 'Jeff the Killer?'" You nodded.

"Yeah," you replied.

"Well, their real name is... not that."

You stared at him for a minute, not getting it, then it clicked.

"Oh! Their last names!" You realized and Silver nodded, looking relieved that he didn't have to spell it out for you.

"Yeah, they tend to go ape-shit if someone calls them by their surname," he says. "Something about it connecting to their life before a creepypasta and painful memories... I wouldn't really know, seeing as how I can't really remember."

He sounded sad as he said it, and you made a mental note to touch back on that later, when your lives weren't at risk

Instead, you said; "What's Jack's last name? I've seen multiple versions of it, but which is the real one?" Silver chewed his lip.

"I'll tell you later," he said at length. "When he's gone off on another hunt- I don't want him to overhear." You nodded. Sound logic.

"I'm curious, though... what's the song you were singing earlier?" Silver asked, and you balked.

"Hmm? Oh, that's my happy song," You answered. "Want me to teach it to you?" Silver looked surprised for a moment, then grinned a bit.

"Sure."

(*sits up in grave like Nathan from Misfits* I LIVE!
Apologies if Lost Silver's character is inaccurate, I'm not as familiar with him as the other pasta. If you guys have any pointers on how to write him better, let me know! (Or, y'know, if I did a good job as is, let me know as well...)