It's been fifteen minutes since we left the Atlantic Hotel and my car is parked in front of the Marylebone apartment and Henry was refusing to go off my car. He's been asking for another ten minutes but wouldn't utter anything. Not until. . .
"I'm sorry." Tears are already forming in his eyes.
"Sorry for what?" I ask obliviously.
He took a deep breath after a couple of minutes.
"I'm sorry if I'd been weak. Sorry about Isabel." He uttered with his head down.
"I know, you know. You were there but you didn't tell anyone about it."
"Why are you apologizing? You didn't commit any mistake. You're young and free." I carefully chose my words to disengage his guilt.
"I'm telling you that I love you but I'm fucking another girl because I can't have you. I've been unfair to you." Guilt gushing out of his mouth.
"You can do anything you want Henry because you're not accountable to anyone. Not even to me."
"Why can't you love me? Why you're not giving me any chances? Sometimes, I feel like you're just playing on me. One minute you're doing it right, the other you're suddenly avoiding me. Why can't you just love me?" Massive amount of tears are already falling from his dilated green orbs.
"Henry, I'm just trying to be friends to everyone. I'm sorry if you see anything aside from friendship on my gestures. I'm really sorry if I can't reciprocate your feelings. It's just that----"
"That you're entering a convent once this shit is over, huh?" He cut me in between gritted teeth.
"How did you know?" My mouth fell agape.
"Remember when I coincidentally grabbed your organiser? Your application form fell from it."
"I've always wanted to tell the truth to you but I've always been scared that you would've never understood. So I try to distance myself from you thinking that the space will make it fade. Now that I can no longer conceal the truth, I guess you'd at least make the space wider."
"No, never! I'm not in any way going to distance myself from you! You're not there yet and I'm gonna anchor my hope in the remaining time. I'll hold on."
"But Henry. Listen to me, you're just going to waste your time. You can find someone better than me and you'll thank me for this night."
"Did you hear me? I'm not going to do that. Just let me love you. Let me make you feel special. Please, just let me."
"I don't want to be unfair to you. I don't want to give you false hopes. Please, Henry."
"Sorry, but I can't change. I won't stop till I surrender and I'm not going to surrender!"
A deafening silence hovered us for a while.
"What if I get you pregnant? Would you marry me? After all, the convents don't need a pregnant novice?" A naughty smile is threatening to leave his lips.
My eyes grew wider of his profanity. And before I could fully comprehend anything, he has adjusted my seat backwards and is already hovering over me.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
His lips found mine in a wild manner. His left hand is cupping my chest while his right hand is struggling to lift the hem of my dress and undo my underpants.
I could feel his growing bulge grinding against my thigh.
"Stop! Please stop it, Henry!" I screamed as I struggle to get him off me. "I'm begging you, please Henry!" That's when cold tears started to fall down on my face. I sobbed while I let his lips leave trails on my neck. "Please!"
That's when earth hit him. He got off me and cried miserably while I covered my torso with my hands. I was violated but I sympathize with Henry. He is really heartbroken.
I locked him in my arms and muttered my apology. He untangled from the embrace and left me with a thousand questions in my head.
The fresh turn of events confused me even more. I should've hit his face but why am I developing sympathetic feelings toward him. He almost raped me, I was violated but I felt this sympathetic sorrow for him. I felt like I'm justly liable for his tears. I wished I was somebody else who could hold his hand and love him back. But I wasn't that one. I have already decided to offer the remaining chapters of my life to Him.
