Songs for this chapter:
Bakit Ngayon - Julie Ann San Jose
Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette
Maybe - Neo Colors
Zarene's POV
Thank you.
His conciseness of expression left me wondering. Henry has never been like that. I know guilt is still lingering in him but I wish he would realize that I've had my share too. Now I'm shaken by the probability that this conflict can somehow affect his performance tomorrow evening. But he needs space. The same need that I had last night.
I finished my tacos and headed upstairs to prepare for tomorrow. It's almost twelve midnight but instead of appreciating the fact that I would be able to take a rest an hour earlier than the usual, instead I feel inhabited. I checked my phone after saying my prayers; stared on Henry's last message wishing for a seam but I didn't get any.
I was more than excited to inform him that he's already been receiving positive feedbacks from the web. I'm more than excited to have him judge my tacos and brag that I made them myself. I'm more than excited to express my gratitude for doing my laundry. But I'm more than frustrated now. I never thought that he would decline my invitation and for that a tear escaped from my eye.
I was fine not until I met him. For the past years, I was content with my life as it was but Henry made me realize that I'm really missing something in my life. Now, I'm starting to mess up my well-planned future. He came to a wrong point in my life - the point when I'm nearly on my way of serving the Lord under a solemn vow.
I laughed at how ironic life can be but cried a little at how it can be cruel sometimes. I hate to admit the fact that Henry filled my mind with uncertainties. I really want to be a nun but I'm having doubts if I can still make it to the formation house.
I am not myself when I'm with him. I feel like I've morphed into someone. Someone who longs for his soft touch, passionate kisses and warm hugs. I could no longer fool myself because I'm already falling for him head over feet. Was it my fault to feel this way? Or was it his fault to ruin my tranquility? I should stop finding faults, instead I should start keeping myself away from any close encounter with Henry. I need to suppress this feeling before it leaves me bleeding.
Henry's POV
Fidgeting on my phone, still in hopes of receiving a reply from her which she never did. She must've sensed my coldness but that's my first step of slowly detaching her from my life. I felt like being stabbed with a thousand daggers yet I need to do this for her. I know I love her but maybe it's wrong to love her more each day because I know where she belongs.
She belongs to the people who believe in her. She belongs to her dream orphanage. She belongs to the Gods above. Yet I also see her spending the rest of her life with me. Watching the sunset together as we see our children chase the waves back to the sea. Placing a sweet kiss before we retire for the day and counting grey and white hairs instead of counting the stars above. But no matter what I do, I'm still incompetent to anything. I'm not a worthy trade over anything in her life. I'm just a young boy who couldn't offer her anything except for my love. I need to let her go, set her free and let her fly to where she truly belongs. It's hard but it's the right thing to do. We couldn't make it by love alone.
Zarene's POV
It's an another morning of concealing my bloodshot eyes. An another morning drive to St. Joan before I attend my classes at Pembroke and go back to North London to pickup Markus.
"Mommy!" The little boy screamed while running to meet me.
"How are you, my baby?" I cooed Markus as I ran my fingers through his shiny brown hair.
