"Henry, just a minute please."Zarene cut me on my way to the studio for the soundcheck.
I followed her to my favourite place in Fontana - the tiniest dressing room where she gave me the strength conquer my stage fright.
"I'm sorry for last night." She begins. "I'm sorry for dragging you into temptation. I have been weak---."
I shushed her and began exposing my vile plot on her. My eyes were already soaked in tears by the time I was done confessing.
I felt her hands caressed my face motioning me to stop crying. I buried my head to the corner of her neck and immediately found comfort. I didn't feel any sexual desires towards her this time but instead I did found comfort and security.
"Congratulations!" She uttered behind my head.
"Sshhhh." Don't say anything. I don't want this moment to end I shushed her as I bury my head deeper to her neck.
And for like a complete eight minutes, we were like that. My head deeply buried on her neck, her hand tightly tied up on my back.
"Ah, Henry. I'm afraid you need to let go of me now." She said under jumbled breath.
"No, please just another five minutes. Please." I adjusted the tone of my voice to sound lamentable.
"But Henry please! For Christ's sake, I need to pee!"
I let her go and blew kisses her way while she ran to the nearest loo. She's so cute as she struggled hard to hold her pee.
If only half of the population would be like her; then this world would be better. Someone who does not keep records of [my] mistakes. Someone who will forgive [me] for a countless amount of time. If only I could change her mind and make her love me.
"I thought you already left." Her soft tone released me from my contemplation.
"Yeah, I could have but I forgot to ask one thing." I lightly scratched the back of my head and paced to and fro before holding her chin up to make an eye contact.
"Look straight into my eyes." I commanded her. "Tell me about Christian."
"That's crazy!" She withdrew her gaze from me.
"Please, I need to know." I plead to her.
"Why do you have to know?" She scoffed at me.
"I'm--- I'm---"
"What?" She raised an eyebrow pretending to be annoyed.
"I'm slowly dying inside whenever I see you with him."
"Selfish, huh?" She tried to burst my bubble thought.
"No, I am not!"
"Can you smell that?" She diverts the topic.
"Smell what? I can't smell anything aside from your warm scent." Slightly cringed of her realisation.
"I smell - - - jealousy!" She said elbowing my arm.
"What? Oh yeah! Maybe I am jealous. I just haven't comprehended yet the sudden shift of gears. Last week, you were scared as a cat but last night, you let him send you home. You even hugged him." I tried to conceal my emotions but they are just too heavy to ignore.
"I'm actually stupid for not recognizing my childhood best friend." She sat on the empty counter and started wagging her feet.
Taking the couch near her, I intently listened to her untold story and I slowly became more vulnerable to jealousy knowing that my rival has an edge. I'd rather see her enter the formation house than she her with that asshole.
"So, you're gonna spend more time with him? You know, to make up." I asked her with my heart still drenched in jealousy.
"No. I've got more things to do. You know that. I'm running out of wicks, so no more distraction. I'm already having a hard time handling you, now you want another one." She wagged her finger while scolding me.
"Handling me? I clearly heard that!" I teased her.
"Yeah, you and the two other All Caps boys! I'm having a hard time handling your group. Immature boys."
"We're talking about you, me and Christian and not about All Caps. Am I already making it too hard for you, love?"
"Obviously, yes!" She playfully hit my knee and dragged me outside to do the soundcheck.
"Everyone's buzzing about the warm-vanilla-scented girl that you brought to the ferris wheel. Who is she?" Lattrel nosily asked me.
"Someone so special to me." I frugally answered.
"She's Ms. Zarene, right?"
I just nodded my head and tears started to form in my eyes realising the fact that she can never be with me. There's no single night when I did not pray. Praying, asking to have her but it seems like not all prayers are meant to be answered.
I felt my mate tapped my shoulder as Mr. Lynch signaled us to start rehearsing. Two hours, three hours, it was not until six in the evening when the judges let go of us.
I roamed my eyes around the parking area to see if she's still here but her car is nowhere to be seen. Jealousy calls again as I realised that she's at Kerr with Christian, maybe stealing glances from each other, exchanging notes, his hand holding her tiny fingers. I silently pray that God will send more angels to watch over her.
Dithered with my clouded thoughts, I found it hard to send myself to slumber. I turned on my laptop and carefully browsed the internet for any results under my name. I'm surprised to find at least a thousand results until I stumbled to this article titled The Search for Henry's Mysterious Ferris Wheel Girl. I Never knew that I could leave people guessing about my cryptic answer. But I don't care if they found out. Why would I care knowing Zarene had a great time that one chilly night?
I hit the address bar and went on to see our official YouTube channel and found out that The Heartbreaker and the Broken-hearted video clip has the most views with people laughing on me when I almost tripped down the stairs as the camera rolls.
Ten in the evening, her class is maybe over by this time and my thoughts moved aimlessly again. Is she with Christian? Are they going out tonight? Is he taking her home safe? Is she. . . She's making me crazy. But I need to control my jealousy. I don't want to make things more complicated. Jealousy leads to unforgivable sins.
My phone vibrated to a message from Zarene.
Are you coming tonight? I'm having tacos.
I'm scared I can't go tonight. I'm sorry.
That's fine. I haven't thanked you yet for doing my laundry last night.
That? No worries. It's my fault anyway.
If you insist. Good luck for tomorrow.
Thank you. I laconically replied.
