Forgotten Flame

Mina's Turmoil

"Who's Gavin?"

Gavin..

Just the mere mention of his name had my blood run cold and my body recoil away from Zak's. Swallowing back the anxiety in my tummy, I sat up.

"Who've you been talking to?" I asked him watching him in the dark as he put his hands over his face, realising his mistake of mentioning it.

"I don't want to know. Let's just go to sleep." He decided.

"No, I want to know who've you been speaking to?!" I snapped glaring at him.

"Nobody."

"Bullshit!"

"I haven't. Honestly. You called his name out one night, I'm just curious." He answered looking over at me.

I scoffed realising this whole day was still about getting me to open up, I wouldn't come forward so he decided to ambush me about it, before bed.

"So this has been you're true intentions has it? Buttering me up all day to attack at night."

"But- Attack? No, no absolutely not! Mina I was just curious that was all, look I don't want to upset you. Just forget I said anything." He answered.

When his hand reached towards me, I backed away and shuffled away sitting on the end of the bed.

You don't have to tell me. But I hope one day I will be enough.. It's healthy to face your fears.

I shook my head and looked up at the moon through the gap in the curtains from where I failed to draw them properly. Well that's what people would think, I didn't want to admit that at my age, I was still afraid of being submerged in pitch blackness.

It's healthy to face your fears...

It's healthy to face your fears...

It's healthy to face your fears...

I looked down at my wrist and smoothed my thumb over the scar that remained. My lasting reminder of the past, my heart break, my anger, my upset, my torment, my demons... Everything was bundled down into this since reminded, this single scar.

"What do you want to know?" I asked Zak looking at the moon as it illuminated the sky.

"Mina I-

"I said what do you want to know?" I repeated.

"Nothing.. I should just go home." He spoke moving in the bed.

"Gavin..." I began looking over my shoulder to see Zak had stopped. I looked away and back to the moon where I had found comfort in the past. "Gavin was my ex boyfriend.. I was 16 at the time."

I shook my head and took a breath as for the first time in 9 years, I began dismantling the walls within my soul to open up. My chest heaved slightly as the emotions came at me full force.

"I uh-" I cleared my throat. "I was in the same school as him. He was one of the popular kids you know? Always had a group of friends flanking his sides, always had a detention, always wore a leather jacket, denim jeans and a killer smile. He was charming, rude, arrogant, funny and cocky. He was.. He was everything back then. Of course he never took a blind bit of notice of me, I was just someone to barge past in the corridor. But to me he was amazing." I nodded.

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect teeth." I scoffed "He certainly knew how to impress the ladies. Which is why I was stunned when he threw something at me one day in English. Mina Brooks, the awkward, chubby kid with glasses. Who hated sports because the girls would point at the stretch marks on my skin. But I couldn't help it. I tried, gosh I tried so hard to eat healthy, to drink water and exercise with mom when I got home. But the genes I was bless with, just wouldn't play ball and I eventually accepted, that I would never be like the girls who could wear short skirts, dresses that wrapped their skins and got asked to the school dances. No, I was just me."