Fixing what is broke

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A week later

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A week later..

"You should go and see him." My mom spoke as we sat in her lounge watching Bailey sleep.

"I can't." I answer flatly making sure my hint of not wanting to continue the conversation was conveyed.

For the past week I had been holed up at my mom's. Sleeping on the floor beside Baileys bed because he wasn't allowed to run up any stairs or jump up. The first night, I slept on the ground. Whilst he was led on his bed with the cone on, feeling sorry for himself and rightly so. Poor little champ didn't deserve any of it.

By the second night, Brian had got a small camping bed and made sure I was comfortable and even offered to take it in turns. But I declined telling him he had done enough for us both already, that he should get a decent night sleep. The man was a god sent angel. Especially when Bailey wouldn't go out for the toilet, Brian coaxed him outside and sat on the back doorstep in the cold until he did.

We had to keep an eye on everything when it came to Bailey. From how many cups of food, how many cups of water, how often he goes to the toilet, when he takes his tablets and allow him time off with the cone he hated so much.

"It won't happen again. You can trust me." My mom spoke making me look over to her.

"Mom.. I do trust you."

"Do you? Because you haven't left this house since it's happened and you won't let me anywhere near him." She spoke wiping a tear.

"Really?" I asked genuinely surprised.

"I know it was a bad situation to be in Mina, but you can't make me feel any worse than I already do."

"I didn't know I was making you feel like that. I didn't know I was acting like that. I promise you."

She sat forward with a sad expression "I believe you. But this isn't healthy. You need to face these problems."

"If you mean Zak, I really don't."

She gave me a knowing look. "You need to thank him."

"I did... Through a text."

"I meant face to face."

"I- I can't." I struggled looking back to Bailey.

"Tell me why? One good reason why?" She challenged.

"Because I'm scared of how much I've let him in. I'm scared mom. Okay?"

"What is there to be afraid of?"

I rake my hand over my face "You're not going to let this lie.. I'm afraid that whatever we had is ruined, I'm afraid that I owe him even more money than the 3 months rent on the apartment, I'm afraid that he will tell me to get lost after how I treated him, I'm afraid of saying sorry and he doesn't accept it. I'm afraid because I think I've got strong feelings for him and he doesn't have them back. I know he doesn't.."

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