Forgotten Flame

Smiting Pan.

"I'm going to go to that museum and tear his fucking balls off! I might even stuff them in his eye sockets!" Ella fumed as she sat down on my couch beside me.

"He's not worth it." Lie..

I stuck my spoon into my icecream and proceeded to eat it.. At 9am.

Yes I was depressed, so much so that eating ice-cream first thing sounded like a reasonable thing to do when I had been up the majority of the night tossing and turning in the sheets. Wondering what Zak was doing... Who he was doing?

"Have you rang...The Cosmopolitan?"

"What for?" I muttered.

"To find out if that bitch is there.. I'm not going to rest until I have her hair extensions out.."

"You don't even know if she has hair extensions Ella. Besides, you can't fight." I pointed my spoon to her tummy.

Her hand rested upon her small stomach "Maybe you are right.. But I can have her job."

"Why?" I asked shaking my head "She slept with him. On numerous occasions no doubt. She didn't know about me, I didn't know about her. It's all to do with his lying.."

"So his balls are coming off. That is settled."

I simply ignored her and went back to my ice cream and Pretty Woman. I couldn't work out why I felt so much pain, why his words affected me so much. Maybe it was to do with the fact he lied, or he was with another woman after we agreed to be.. Well us.

"You need to shower and stop this." Ella said removing the ice cream from my hands and taking my spoon. "It's 9 am and it's unhealthy to be doing this two days in a row."

"It's emotional support. I can hardly go out right now.. Can I?" I asked gesturing to my face.

She gave me a sympathetic look and snuck a spoonfull of Phish Food before handing it back "I really needed that." She admitted.

Ella, she never failed to make me smile, even in the worst of times and here she was, making my lips curve. "Get a spoon."

"Yes!" She hissed climbing up over the back of the couch. She returned with a spoon and we both sat on the couch eating it.

"I have an excuse.. I'm pregnant and the baby wants it." She announced as I watched Julia Roberts walk into the clothing store only to be refused service because she didn't fit in..

The footage oddly familiar to the time Zak took me shopping..

I frowned and dug into the ice cream again. "I'm upset.."

"Hey.." She spoke making me look over to her. "I'm not going to defend him, but do you think this has all stemmed from the attack. That perhaps he feels guilty?"

"Guilty enough to let his dick fall into another vagina. Before the intruders?" I asked making her wince at my vulgarity of it.

"I guess not." She muttered.

"Anyway. Who's side are you on? You wanted to wrip his testicles off."

"Yours!" She answered glancing at the ice cream..

"You're just saying that because of Ben and Jerry."

Her smile turned into a little grin "Maybe. But you know I have your back.. Always."

"Hmm." I brought the ice cream back between us and continued on with the film.

It was pretty sad, this has been my agenda for the last two days. Emotional eating, afraid to leave the house incase people stare, and they will. A woman with a black eye and people think 'She's getting abused by her partner', I know this because Ella instantly thought Zak had punched me in the face..