Coach Lovato (girlxgirl)

Chapter 4

Rae

We got to the apartment building and she parked her car. I start to get out only to be stop. "Wait, let me help you." She says, then gets out and run around to my door. She opens the door then holds her hand out for me to take which I do take and smile at her "Thank you." I say. 

She lets go of my hand once I am out and stable. I can't help but feel disappointed when she does but I don't know why. She gets her bag with her work out and then gestures for me to lead the way. I lead the way to the stairs then slowly start to go up. Halfway up I start to feel out of breath I grab the railing and bend over holding my side. "What wrong?" She asks seeming very concerned.

"Nothing." I say not wanting her to worry.

"Don't lie to me. What is wrong?" She say sternly but concerned.

"I was just try to catch my breath. I don't know why but I was just having issues breathing. I will be ok I just need to make it to the apartment." I say look up at her then slowly standing and climbing the stairs again. Once we get to the door I pull out my key and lean against the door frame as I struggle with the key. After a few minutes of trying I feel a hand carefully take the key from my hand and do it for me. I look up to see Miss Lovato already looking at me and I smile weakly.

I push the door open and throw down my bag. "You can work here at the couch or you can work in my room at my desk." I say look back at her. "Where will you be?" She asks. "In my room I wanna lay down for a little while because it's only 4:30 I don't wanna go to sleep yet." I answer and she nods and says. "I will work in your room so I can keep an eye on you." I nod and gesture for her to follow me.

I lead her to my room "Here is the desk. Just let me clean it off." I walk over and start stacking papers and close my laptop and move it over. I sit all my things on the side of the desk "Okay. That should be good." I say "I am just gonna lay down over here."

I walk over to my bed and lay on my back and watch as she walks to the desk. She sits down and pulls her stuff out to start working. "Why are you doing this?" I ask out of no where.

She looks at me surprised. "If your doing this cause you think it's your fault its not, it's mine, just like everything else." I say still not looking at here. "I am doing this because I care about and cause I can. I don't have anything to do and even if I did I would still be here because I care." She rolls the chair towards me and continues "From what I can tell is you don't think you are worth being cared for but you are." She says and grabs my chin like she did at the school making me look at her. "You may not have what you think is a perfect life but that doesn't make you who you are."

"Oh wow so two people in the whole world think is am worth something" I say pull my face away to look at the wall instead if her. She grabs it again "Quit looking away. You have a whole group if friends who look at you like you are the center of the world." She says and I shake my head.

"There are only friends with me cause they think I am funny." I say. "They all left when I uhh... nevermind" I say and advert my eyes. "When you what?" She questioned. "Nothing it doesn't matter." I answer still not making eye contact know I am lying. "Tell me. I know you think it'll change what I think of you but I promise it won't." She reassures me and for some reason I wanna believe it. I look at her and she just look so trust worthy that I wanna tell her.

"I had a whole group if friends 3 years ago, back before my parents died. I was still what you'd call the class clown but I didn't do it for other people I did it for my own entertainment and I had a lot of friends, some closer then other, but a lot I thought they'd always be there for me. I was wrong. A year before my parents died I came out." I flinch saying wait for her to react but when she doesn't I continue. "Slowly all of them disappeared. People started bullying me, but then I start to make scenes when I would decide to act out and people found it funny. Then slowly people wanted to be my friend again because I could make them laugh. Then my parents had there accident and I was in it. I don't like talking about but that's when I started having panic attacks.  I saw them..... die... I cou-couldn't d-do anything" I struggle through the last part having problem breathing again as I start crying. "I-I went to school and I didn't have the want to make scenes or jokes. B-but slowly I started to again but at this point it was mid year last year and Coach whatever his name is... thought I was just a horrible kid because I start having fun again because being the 'class clown' was genuinely the only thing that made me happy. His reactions made everyone laugh so I used it more. And through this all the friends I thought would always be there were gone again til I got back to my normal self." I sniffle and try to breath slowly. "They only wanna be my friend cause I make them laugh I don't have even one true friend to stick by me." I finish the start breathing harder, I start to feel trap and I pull away from her and curl into a ball and lean against the wall.

I feel a dip in the bed then arm warp around my whole body and a voice saying "Breath in.... breath out..... follow my breaths." Over and over again. I slowly calm down and then I slowly feel exhausted. I close my eyes and relax in the her.