Coach Lovato (girlxgirl)

Chapter 30

Rae's POV

"We all need to have a serious talk right now before I put it off more..." James starts and I nod as I tense up.  Demi slowly grabs my hand. "We need to talk about you, Rae, I know you won't like this, but I also know you are happy with the way things are right now."

I just look at him still not 100% sure what he is talking about. "James, what are you talking about, I am happy, I have you and Demi. You guys make me happy." I say confused out of my mind. What could he be hinting at. Is something wrong with him?

"Rae, not that long ago you talked about how you wanna be normal, you wanna be able to do things alone and how you wanna go out and do things with friends. I want you to be able to that so I made some calls." He continues. I look at Demi to see if she knows what he is talking about and she doesn't. "I called your old therapist and she agree with my plan all you have to do is go in for one appointment a month but on the first one she will get the paper work for us."

"James, what are you talking about?" I ask.

"After the trip you are going to your therapist I have the appointment made. She has agreed that due to the panic attacks and her old notes from you appointments that it is likely you have PTSD. This explains you violent outbursts, the panic attacks and you not being able to control you actions sometimes. She thinks that getting a service dog would help you. She knows a woman who own a training pace in California for service dogs. They have a dog about to graduate and if you agree to this that dog will be yours. They will bring her here and rain her for you specific issues for a few weeks and she'll be all yours and she can always be with you unlike me and Demi. We can try to be there but she'll always be there. No one can take her from you. How does that sound?" He asks. He looks at me hopeful and proud that maybe he found a solution for me.

"What exactly would the dog do?" Demi asks seeming interested, but I don't know if I am. Wouldn't it be like admitting defeat, that I can't control myself, but then again I would have to worry about being a danger to the people I love as much. I would always have something that can stop me before it escalates instead of Demi coming in after.

"Well, it would be trained on her que's for panic attacks and would be trained on how to react to the que's and full attacks. Like I said the trainer will be here to help trian skills that are specific to you better.? he explains pointing to me. "He will also be able to teach you the commands the dog knows. What do you guys think?" 

"Well... I don't know." I say genuinely not sure. 

"Babe, I think it would help you." Demi says looking over at me. "It would help with what we talked about before your appointment. I think it would help all of us to know that you are okay." She explains her opinion and I take it all in.

Maybe I should, I have heard stories of how its helped people, but it mean I give in to not being able to be in control. Does it mean I am weak if i need help? I mean, they help me but not all day everyday like this dog would be. 

"Okay, let me think about it." I say standing up and look down at them. "I don't think I am in the right mind to make decisions. Especially after the decisions I have made today, I am clearly not thinking clearly." I say and walk away from them. 

I walk to the bed room and lay down in my clothes I wore to school. I close my eyes to relax my self. i take a deep breath and the smell of Demi from her sheets make their way to me making me relax more knowing I am safe.

**********DREAM***********

I am laying in the room of the foster home I was sent to until James could make it back to take custody. I sigh thinking about how my life is gonna change, how I would live with out my parents, and mostly how having to take car of my completely would change James and I's relationship. 

Suddenly the door was thrown open and the man I am living with and his wife walking. I wince as I crawl to the corner of the bed as far as I can to get away from them. I have only been hear a day and I still have bruises and cuts from the crash. The social worker had to leave me somewhere as it would be two weeks until James could come back. This meant I would be here for another week.

"Come here, you bitch!" The man said loudly coming closer and I respond by shaking my head quickly. 

"Please no, please!" I beg and plead over and over, when suddenly I am grabbed buy the arm by the woman I have yet to learn the name of.

"You listen to everything we say, we don't have to put this roof over your head." She says point to the ceiling with her free hand and thats when I see the mans fist flying toward my face. I feel the contact and only groan knowing from last night it'll only get worse if I make a sound. 

I look up at the man and his face transforms from his face to Joey's, then I feel a fist come into contact with my ribs making me scream in pain as I feel a crack. Before it was only bruised from the crash but now I was sure it was broke (Later they would say swelling hid that is was broken because they didn't do a X-Ray.) 

"Rae." I here a voice I have come to love, so I look around to find the source. My eyes find there way to the door way and I see Demi. She looks to be on the verge of crying. "Rae, baby, wake up, please!" She screams at me and suddenly the women is shaking me. I start pushing her hands of me. "Rae, it's just a dream wake up!" Demi screams again.

I look toward the man but now he has James' face. "Sis, you gotta wake up!" He yells in my face. 

With that my eyes fly open and I sit up quickly screaming. I look around wide eyed and see Demi holding me and tears in her eyes falling down her cheeks. I see James looking at me in concern and surprise. I our apartment he was never home at night so he never saw me have these dreams after he got me out. James still doesn't know about those nights that I spent there. 

"Baby, are you okay?" She asks and I reach my hand up the wipe the tears.

"I will be okay, just today has gotten to me." I explain. 

"I am gonna go to the guest room if you need me. I love you, baby sis." He says kissing my head. 

He walks out and Demi and I just hold on to each other. After half and hour, she decide we should sleep. We get ready and lay down holding each other as we fall asleep.