Playing Provincial Proxy (MSS#3)

49. Proxy

Playing Provincial Proxy

Kabanata 49

IN WORDLY TERMS, Xinna must have everything, especially material things and money. He's rich. He's handsome. He's famous. He's smart. I saw his perfection. But it was before I heard about his mother's saddest death. I saw a crack through his perfection, especially after I've known how his father fought a good fight. Being a doctor isn't easy but in desperation to heal his wife, Xinna's Dad endured it all. But, through all the efforts and hopes, they'd just lose in the end. I could recall how the noise of their world cracking echoes in their hopeful hearts. Sobrang sakit. Sobrang nakakapanghina. Yung ginawa mo na lahat pero wala parin.

I am just proud that Xinna is trying his best to heal. He's trying to accept it's over for her Mom. He's looking at the bright side that it's best for his Mom, para hindi na ito mahirapan.

I loved him more because of his imperfections he gladly accepted. He matters to me so much that being introduced to his almost mother in this life brings so much joy. Masaya akong hindi siya nag alinlangang ipakilala ako bilang magiging girlfriend niya! Halos lumukso iyong puso ko sa pinaghalong gulat at saya. Mas nauna niya pa akong ipinakilala sa kamag anak niya kesa sa pamilya ko na ipinangako ko sa kanya.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kanyang kamay nang maalala ang sinabi ni Mama.

"Kaya pakiusap ko sa'yo, Rural, layuan natin ang mga Guevarra. Kaguluhan lang ang naidudulot nila satin. Kung hindi lang dahil sa utang, matagal na akong umalis sa mansyon na yun."

Ma, will you be mad if I'll date this walking disaster?

"Hi, Mom. You'll probably wondering who's this girl beside me. She's the one who made me realized never to stop fighting. She's the girl who supported me for who I am, who forgave me for all of my mistakes, and still accepted me through all the pain I'd caused her. Siya yung tumulong sakin na makaahon, Mom. She's a brave girl, you know. Just like you."

"I wish I had a tough heart like you, Rural. Sana'y noon pa nakaahon na ako."

Akala ko noon, si Kathey ang tinutukoy niya rito. Mas lalo lang akong nainis sa sarili dahil sa pagkainis na para lang naman pala sa wala. Iyong mga oras na nagselos ako, mga maling tao ang tinutukoy ko. Pakiramdam ko nagiging katulad ako kay Kathey na masyadong selosa. I don't want it to happen. Ayaw kong iwan niya ako para roon.

Noong ipinakilala niya ako sa Tita niya, hindi ko naramdaman iyong pagiging welcome. Pero kahit ganoon, naappreciate na hindi niya ako vocal na hinindian. Naging pormal parin siya sa akin. It matters to me so much, pero ipinaubaya ko nalang ang pagtanggap nila sa akin sa tamang pagkakataon. They must have probably know about the false affair between Xinna's Dad and Mama. Ma'am Idyll asked about my parents, kaya paniguradong alam niyang anak ako ng pinagkamalang babae ng kapatid niya. She must've loathed me like Mama for ruining the reputation of Doc Theo and their family. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan ang galit ni Kapitana sa akin. Pero kahit ganoon, hindi ko masisisi si Mama. Nagpadala lang siya sa kalambutan ng puso niya at pagkaawa kay Doctor Theo. Pero wala namang namagitan sa kanila. Ngunit wala akong magagawa kung galit ang pamilya ni Xinna sa pamilya ko. Kahit nakakafrustrate isipin na maging ang pamilya ko ay galit din sa kanila.

Ngayong nakatitig ako sa puntod ng Mama ni Xinna, nakaramdam ako ng hiya kahit masaya akong gusto ni Xinna na ipakilala niya ako sa Mama niya.

"I don't want you to doubt my intentions again. That's why I'll introduce you to my family to show you I'm deadly serious,"

"Hello, po, Ma'am Salem—" Piniga ni Xinna ang kamay ko in disagreement. Tipid akong ngumiti. "Tita Salem..." I corrected, my heart gave a jolt. "Ako po si Rural. Nais ko po lamang malaman niyo na lumaking mabuting tao ang nag iisa niyong anak. He's a great man. You probably heard about my bad impressions about him before. Gusto ko pong humingi ng tawad dun. Nagkamali po ako. Your son is a good and kind person. He's passionate in everything he does and he's compassionate to those who are hurt. He saved my life, Ma-Tita. Mahal ko po ang anak niyo. Mahal na mahal." Ngumiti ako kahit nanlalabo na ang mga mata sa nag aambang mga luha.