Playing Provincial Proxy (MSS#3)

61. Parting Ways

Playing Provincial Proxy

Kabanata 61

"SA MGA UNA at huling ginawa ko, patutunayan ko sa iyong sensiro ako sa lahat ng iyon, Rural. Noong aksidente kong narinig ang pag uusap n'yo ng gago mong kasintahan, inaamin kong naawa ako. Noong isinayaw kita, hindi ko iyon ginawa para ipahiya ka. Noong gabing hinawakan kita ng ganito habang nakakapit ka rin sa akin, iyon ang gabi na napagdesisyunan kong susubok akong magmahal ulit. No more pities, just pure realization. Every time you look at me like that, during the first time we met until now that your eyes are on me, you make me fall in love with you an inch deeper every day."

"Xinna..." I can't think anymore. Hindi ko alam kung itutulak ko siya palayo bago niya pa mabago ang isipan ko o hayaan ko siyang pakinggan. Isa ito sa mga pinapangarap ng puso ko, ang marinig lahat ng matatamis na salitang ito galing sa kanya. I just couldn't be selfish enough.

"Shhh. Please, for one last time, let me speak to your heart, Rall."

He never left my eyes, even for once. Napapikit ako saglit, at sa muling pagdilat ay hinayaan siyang sabihin lahat ng gusto niya. With each word climbing up the wall I've built around my heart. For one last time...

"Do you remember when I jumped to the water to rescue you from your stupid ex boyfriend. I was so angry that time seeing you being molested like that. I was so mad like hell I couldn't stop until I made the sea red with his dirty blood but you stopped me... when you cried endlessly on my boat, I just couldn't bear watching. I told you to cry until it hurts no more, thus I vowed to myself I won't allow you to cry like that again. That's why I pushed myself to you despite your disapproval. No matter how many times you blocks and pushes me away, I would just find myself coming and coming back to you. That's my promise. And every time I see your smile and hear your laughter, I just couldn't believe I've seen the galaxies."

He reached for my chin.

"The very first time I claimed your lips, I've just tasted the heavens. This is not a bluff, Miss Vice President. It feels very real... until now."

Kahit sa kasalukuyang sitwasyon namin, hindi ko alam na kaya pang mag-init ng pisngi ko. I remembered it. Doon niya rin unang sinabi sa akin na may gusto siya sa akin.

"I'm sure you heard about Kate and my past relationship with her. You've got worse when she came back. But I'm much worst. I thought my words and actions were strong enough to assure you it's all over for us and it's you now that matters. You got jealous, you got hurt, I made you cry but you never said a word. My mistake, my hipcrosy, and with it, I'm very sorry, Rural."

Para sana sa ikalilinaw ko ang mga sinabi niya but his every confession is like a poison, intoxicating my heart with my faults. Wala siyang dapat ihingi ng tawad, it was my baseless jealousy that triggers me for my own pain. Wala akong dapat ikaselos pero nagseselos ako.

He unlocked me from his grip and picked up the boquet of flowers from the rounded table. He offered it to me with a smile on his lips. My eyes heated because I know it was not geniune. He's trying to make me feel better by showing me that he's not hurting at all. It's useless. It's a triple kill for me.

"Do you remember. Here in this garden, I gave you flowers for the first time. I told you I'll court you and would never stop until you say yes to me. I'll keep waiting no matter how many times you'd turn me down. And this time, I will give you again and will ask you the same thing."

Kumalabog ang puso ko nang ibigay niya sa akin ang bulaklak. I already turned him down... not once but twice. I saw his adam's apple portruded as he swallowed hard. "Two days ago, I came to your boarding house. I was about to tell you about my flight, but..."