Playing Provincial Proxy (MSS#3)

52. Power of Presence

Playing Provincial Proxy

Kabanata 52

MY THOUGHTS ARE rumbled. I'm not even sure if I'm dreaming or not... thinking or not...

Until I heard a distance whisper... no, it's a song... a mellow music... and a cold voice... I opened my eyes without my intention to do it. I saw him in a blur first.

I saw his silhouette dancing until I keep my eyes focus for a moment.

"Xinna...." I couldn't even hear my own voice.

Where I am, or what happened... I'm not even sure yet. If this is just a dream, I'm still uncertain what's happening. My brain literally stopped functioning and I couldn't process it all yet.

The music stopped and the tall shadow immediately stood up.

"Rural? You're awake? Rural, can you hear me.... huh..."

His voice echoes... I didn't get the message but I know it's him. It's the one I love. This is the only thing I'm certain right now.

I tried to move my hands... my fingers... but I couldn't. I feel frustrated because I wanted to touch him so much. I'm in an unfamiliar state and his touch is the only sure thing I have but I couldn't even reach for him. But I tried to move my lips. And they did! I don't want my happiness to be ruined by mere frustration.

"Xinna.... why did the... music... stop... You were teaching me... teach me the right chords and strummings...don't stop..."

He reached for me. He touched my face and I felt his warmth. His soft big hands... I know it's him. Even when I fell asleep again, I know he was there. I know my Xinna was there.

The next time I woke up, it was nighttime. Tahimik ang paligid. Tanging tunog ng life machine, orasan at hininga ko ang naririnig. Unti unti kong minulat ang mga mata. Malabo pa sa una ngunit dahan dahan ding luminaw ang paningin ko. May kumilos sa gilid ko dahilan ng paglingon ko roon.

Tulala si Xinna noong makita ko. Ilang segundo muna siyang nakipagtitigan sa akin bago umaksyon.

"You're really awake, Rall? Am I not dreaming?" he sounds unbelieving. Kinapa niya ang pisngi ko, pinisil ang mga daliri ko, at iwinagayway niya pa ang palad sa harap ko. Sinundan ko ang mga ginawa niya ng walang imik. "You're really awake!" he concluded after his doctor-like test. Tila ang tagal niyang naghintay at ngayo'y nabuhayan siya sa huling sinabi.

"X-Xinna..." namamaos ang boses ko. Parang ilang araw kong hindi nagamit.

I can see him clearly now. I saw his eyes turned red.

Hindi agad ako nakakilos noong hinila niya ako papalapit sa kanya at niyakap nang sobrang higpit. Isinubsob niya ang mukha sa aking leeg at may basa akong naramdaman.

"Xinn, d-did you cry?" sinubukan kong tumawa pero mas lalo niya lang hinigpitan ang kapit sa aking beywang. I can sense his fear of letting me go.

Kinagat ko ang labi dahil sa pitik ng sakit na humaplos sa puso ko. I have never seen Xinna Guevarra cry. Even when he told me about his Mom's death, he didn't cry. And it is very heartbreaking to see him cry like this, utmost, in my arms.

"I told you before, I don't to see you in a hospital bed again," he whispered.

"S-Sorry..." Marahan kong hinawakan ang kanyang malapad na balikat at pinilit siyang iharap sa akin. I can't believe what I'm seeing. There's moist in his handsome face but he's still undeniably gorgeous. "I'm not dead. Why are you crying, Xinn?" Pinipiga ang puso ko sa pinaghalong saya at sakit. Hindi ko akalaing mapapaiyak ko ang lalaking ito. He's always been so calm and cold... but I think I made his hot tears flow down.