Why is this happening to me?!?

Chapter 52

Harry's P.O.V

"Okay... well I..." Here we go! She was going to finally tell me how she feels about me!!!

"Well.. I... Okay. I miss you Harry. I miss us. It's not going to be the same I know but I still wish it was. But know Ashton is in the picture. I still love you but I'm starting to love Ashton. And last night was amazing I mean I felt like us again. I didn't hear my conscious tell me to stop kissing you last night because it was what it wanted. I like when we cuddle in the same bed. I like when you make me laugh and blush. I love your personality. I love you for you! But It can't be the same!" By now tears were streaming down her face because this was a serious topic. I then felt tears in my eyes.

"How do you feel about me?"

"I still love you too. I know that we can't be the same because I screwed it up. I miss us too. I loved last night and my conscious wasn't telling me anything because it liked us. I know that Ashton is in the picture and it kills me to see you with him but I have to get used to it because he makes you happy. Just know that if Ashton ever breaks up with you I'm always here for you babe. As a brother to comfort you, As a friend to get upset with you, and a lover to help you through it by fixing your heart. I love you. No matter what. The past few weeks with us not being together was miserable. I love you too. An everything about you. Just know that I'm here for you." She and I were know crying and we hugged. She then whispered a small 'i love you' in my ear and I did the same back to her.

She then sat up and wiped her eyes. She then went inside. I stayed outside and cried a little bit more. I decided to call Ed. He always knew how to cheer me up.

-ring

-ring

"Hello??"

"Hey Weasley."

"Potter!! Why does it sound like you've been crying mate?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time." I then explained everything about me and Tracey to Ed and he understood. I mean he fell in love with my sister and they went out but then she found someone and they had a similar situation except they weren't step brother and step sister.

"Wow! You have some crazy shot on your hands man! Sounds like you love her and she loves you. Unfortunately the Aussie had to get in the way. So what is happening now?"

"I'm in the backyard and she is...." I turned around and looked in Tracey's' window. She had her curtain open. I looked at her face and I saw her crying then I saw her get up and throw her pillow and it hit her cheerleading trophies and volleyball trophies. They all fell to the ground and then she started recking her room.

"Potter?? You there??"

"Yeah umm.. She is totally destroying her room and crying. Umm... she has now closed her curtain. Should I go check on her?"

"Umm... yeah. Call me later. Go comfort her."

"Okay I'll call you soon."

"Bye." I heard the phone click off which meant he hung up and I walked inside. I ran upstairs and I heard crying and screaming. I walked up to Tracey's room and I put my ear up against the door and heard things breaking. I then heard her screaming.

"Ahhh! Why!!"

I tried to open the door and I noticed it was locked. I decided to call Ashton and have him come help me with calming down Tracey.

"Tracey??"

"Go away Harry!"

"Okay!! Just try and calm down!"

"Just please leave me alone to die!"

"Die??!! What are you talking about??"

"Just go away!!" I could hear her crying even crying harder.

"I'm going to call Ashton!"

"No!! Don't!! Just leave me alone!!"

"Okay." I didn't listen to her. I know something was wrong. I needed to get in because she was scaring me. I definitely needed to call Ashton.

-ring

-ring

"Hey Harry. What's up??"

"Umm.. Ashton? I need you to come over right now."

"Why mate?? What's wrong??"

"Tracey is locked in her room and she won't let me in. She is teaching her room and she said that she just wants me to let her die an I'm getting scared."

"Oh Shit! Okay I'm on my way over." I hung up and luckily only 15 minutes later he got here.

"Is she still up there??"

"Yeah." We ran upstairs and he banged on the door.

"Tracey! Babe! It's Ash!! You need to open the door!!" There was some mumbling.

"Baby?? Can you please open the door??" Some more mumbling and then we heard something hit the floor hard. Ashton looked at me and I looked at him with wide eyes. Ashton and I both tried to break down the door. The last time I tried the door broke down. I ran in while Ashton was behind me and I looked at Tracey. She was laying on the floor. I shook her and rolled her on her back. I looked at her body and I felt for a pulse. I couldn't find one.

"Tracey!!!" I shook her and then I looked down her body. I looked at her wrists. Their were 5 open cuts on her arm. I looked around her room and found her razor blade. I cried an thought to myself that I was the reason she probably cut. I picked her up and Ashton followed behind me speechless.

We got into the jeep and I drove to the hospital.

"Ashton? Can you call Tracey's mom and tell her to meet us at the hospital??" He nodded and called her mom through my phone.

All that was running through my mind was that I caused pain to the love of my life and I basically made her cut and kill herself because of me.