Why is this happening to me?!?

Chapter 30

*1 MONTH LATER*

Tracey's P.O.V

Tomorrow is the wedding of Harry's dad and my mom. I am sitting in the living room with Ashton, Luke, Calum, Michael. Over the past month I have become close to these guys. Ashton and I are really close. Luke and Makayla are close too. Makayla totally likes Luke. He likes her back. He told me. Only problem is Niall. Calum and Michael are like my other brothers beside Louis.

Ashton was sitting their telling embarrassing stories of Harry. Harry was out getting some food. Ashton was sitting on the couch and I was sitting on the floor and he was playing with my hair. He claims to be braiding it but I can feel him putting it in a knot. I have been feeling a little put off by Harry for the past month and only Ashton knows my situation besides Makayla and Sabrina.

I don't know what's wrong with Harry but ever since the day that my mom and his dad met the wedding planner he had been acting wierd. He seems to be out a lot. Luckily I have Ashton.

I like Ashton a little bit but I'm with Harry so I won't be with Ashton since I'm with Harry. Calum and Michael say that Ashton likes me and talks about me all the time. I don't believe them. I mean who wants to go out with a girl like me.

Makayla just got here. With Niall. When she walked in she was gonna give Luke a kiss on the cheek but Niall walked in behind her so they just hugged. I felt bad for Niall. He was madly in love with Makayla.

I suddenly felt like my hair was being ripped out.

"Ow! Ashton! What are you doing?"

"Oh I got bored so I just started pulling your hair."

"Well can you like stop? It really hurts." I was trying to stay serious but when Ashton is wearing a sombrero in your living room and he's never been to Mexico it's just funny. You can't help but laugh.

"How about No!" He yanked on my hair harder and I screamed.

"Ashton!"

"Tracey!"

"Seriously stop or I'm gonna pull your hair."

"No."

"Then stop." He let go an gave me his pouty face which was so cute.

"You're no fun."

"Sorry."

I then got a text from Harry.

From: Haz

Hey Tracey. I'm gonna go out with Louis. Won't be home til late. Bye.

What kind of bullshit is this?? No 'I love you'? No 'Hey babe'? No 'xx'? What the hell is going on? I decided to send one back.

To: Haz

Actually can you come home? I have to talk to you.

From: Haz

Yeah. Be there in 5.

Harry showed up just like he said. 5 minutes later.

"Harry can I talk to you in the backyard?"

"Yeah."

I got up and left Ashton staring at the ceiling. I followed Harry into the backyard and he sat down on the pool chair.

"So what do you wanna talk about?"

"I just wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"What had been going on lately? Why do we seem farther apart?"

"Oh crap. I though that I wouldn't have to do this but is guess I have to say something."

"What is it?"

"I don't know if this relationship is gonna work since our parents are getting married."

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Is it because I'm not pretty enough? Do you not love me? Was this whole relationship a lie?!! Am I not good enough for you???!! I can Change!" I started yelling and crying. Tears were coming out of my eyes like a waterfall.

He walked over to me and held my hands with one of his big hands.

"No! Tracey! I don't want you to change. I just think we need a break."

"Do you love me or was it a lie?"

"I love everything about you and who you are! Don't think anything less of yourself. I just think we should see other people for a while then if we are meant to be then fate will bring us back together."

I was getting frustrated. I was freaking out. I was upset at Harry and myself. I couldn't help but do the thing I do best. And that's be self conscious about myself. Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough? Am I just an embarrassment? Why can't I find love that last?

All I want in life is a romance story. I want to be the girl who falls in love with a guy and they live a life together with troubles yet they work it out. Like the stories I read on Wattpad.

The tears kept flowing out of my eyes. I ran back inside leaving Harry outside. When I ran inside all eyes were on me. I didn't pay attention. I ran upstairs and into my bedroom. I locked the door. I went to the desk and grabbed the blade.

I put it against my skin and felt the pain yet pleasure of releasing my pain. I know it's not good to cut but I do it anyway.