SanderSides One-Shots

Overdrive

T.W: Negative thinking, language, self-harm, panic attack
Ship:None
Virgil'sPOV:
I was doing fine! Completely normal, just like every other day. It was just happened to be a bad day. I couldn't help it, even if the others accepted me I'm still anxiety, I'm still going to have some bad days. They just didn't seem to get that.
I was already having a not so good day when I was summoned for a video, not that anyone would notice. I was trying really hard to keep it that way. I was quiet, breathing deeply and only speaking when I was spoken to.
Mid-way into filming I snapped at Princey, "Just shut up already!!" I was panting, my voice deep and echoey causing everyone to flinch back. I'm not even sure what Roman was saying, I'm not sure what I even said.
"K-Kiddo?"
You scared Patton
I know.
He'll be too scared to come near you now
Maybe that's a good thing.
The others will hate you
Yeah that's not new.
I just need to get away..yeah that'll help everyone, just apologize and leave.
"S-sorry." Great you stuttered. Just fucking great. I sigh and sink out going to my room, making double sure I lock the door. Last time I didn't Patton barged in. I don't need a repeat of that, he wouldn't let me out of his sight for two weeks straight!
Going to my bathroom I grab the one razor Patton didn't take away, he simply didn't see it so I made sure to hide it well. Taking off my jacket and setting it aside I press the blade to my arm, noting that there is hardly any clear space left. Oh well.
It's not like anyone will notice
That's true. That's one cut.
No one cares about you.
Mhm. Another one.
You'd be better off dead.
Yes I would.
I fed into these thoughts not even realizing how many cuts I actually gave myself.
You promised to stop now look at you.
Pathetic.
Weak.
Both arms are dripping with blood by the time I come out of whatever haze the thoughts put me in, I register that I'm crying as well. I probably slipped into a panic attack during the haze.
I sigh and clean up my arms putting bandages around them, my hoodie going on next to hide them.
Making sure everything is covered I head to the kitchen, noticing just how hungry I am. I keep my head down, I'm still a bit panicked and I don't want to go into Overdrive, so I try and stay calm. I don't want that happening in front of the others.
They already think you're weak
I know.
Why eat? It's not like anyone would care.
I'm hungry.
No one ca-
"Hey kiddo. You doing okay?" I give Patton a small smile and a nod, at least he still cares about me.
"Sit down. I'll make you something to eat."
"No Da-Dad it's alright I c-can do it."
"Now kiddo, it's-,"
"it's rude to talk back to your dad."
Patton and I turn our heads towards the entrance of the kitchen to see Logan with his nose in a book. They had said that at the exact same time, Logan didn't even think about it when he said it.
When Logan looked up from the book and processed what he said, his face flushed and he stuttered out nonsense words. Patton just laughed and continued to make me something to eat. I smiled a little bit and waited for Pat to finish.
You're making him cook for you?
He offered because he cares.
Haven't you asked enough of him already?
He's my dad he doesn't mind.
Roman walked in before anymore thoughts could pass through but the look he gave me sent my head reeling.
You did yell at him
He probably hates you
Pathetic
Weak
Worthless
"Virgil? Kiddo, can you breathe for me?"
Patton came into my line of sight with a worried look on his face. I must have slipped into an attack, in front of everyone. Wonderful.
"Come on kiddo, in for 4, hold 7, out 8."
I can't. Weak.
"Virgil please calm down you're safe." Logan looked worried too, oh god I'm horrible.
Terrible.
Needy. Weak.
"Verge, come on you can do it."
Roman hates you.
They all hate you. Hate.
Weak
Pathetic
Needy
"Hey! Easy buddy, let's not do that!"
Do what? What am I doing? Oh I can feel it, I'm clawing at my neck. Pat is holding my hands back, Roman has me in his arms, Logan is trying to get my breathing normal. My vision is starting to tunnel, crap.
Worthless
Weak
Unwanted
Unloved
Pathetic
My vision goes black, the last thing I see is Patton's worried face in front of mine. I vaguely hear Logan say I'm going into Overdrive but it slowly fades out.
............ .......... ......... ........
Hope you enjoyed💙
Lots and lots of part twos are being made so don't worry!