A Girl in a Forgetful World

Secrets

Your words are harder than rocks,

Sharper than glass,

As they stab my heart

And bloody my calloused hands

As I desperately try to stop the bleeding.

I've tried to harden my heart

Against the fights,

The emotional carnage,

The feeling of

"Why do I not tell anyone?"

I want to be skinny,

I want to be normal,

I want to be pretty,

I want to be noticed,

I want to walk away from everything...

But I can't tell anyone. 

They'll want to save me,

But I'm afraid I can't be saved. 

I'm left bleeding alone

Because of my own self-hatred.

I don't tell anyone my secrets

Because I can't even tell myself.

People like the ones I've met

Are why I stay away

And why I don't talk.

Why should I tell them my problems?

My greatest issues?

My burning pain?

My want for help

But my need of being free from embarrassment?

My secrets creep in corners

Around my mind,

Around my heart,

And around my friendships.

I want so badly to tell someone,

To "let it all out".

I want someone to know me so well

That they can know what I'm thinking,

What I'm feeling...

And help me...

Yes,

Help me. 

Help me be free from these secrets.

I think I know that person,

But I don't think they want to know that part of me.

For now, 

My secrets will just have to remain

Secret.