Not Strong Enough

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I don't understand why

Nothing is strong enough.


No medicine is strong enough

To stop my mind.


No person is strong enough

To love me.


No therapy is strong enough

To help me get over my trauma.


No words are strong enough

To explain my love for them.


And no words are strong enough

To tell them how much it hurts,

How much it hurts to keep smiling

When I feel like dying.


And yet,

No pain is strong enough 

To kill me.


Nothing is strong enough

To help me.


No ounce in my body

Is strong enough

To tell them to stop,

To tell them that I need them to love me,

To tell me I'm beautiful

And wanted.


Nothing is strong enough 

To keep me from 

Wanting to end this all.


Nothing is strong enough

To make me feel okay again.

I can't even remember what it feels like

To be okay.


I can't find it,

I can't find the antidote...


Nothing is strong enough...

And neither am I.

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