A Girl in a Forgetful World

Invisible

I try to ignore it,

Try to stop the feelings from coming.

Hold back the tears,

You'll be okay,

It's...

You understand.

I try to ignore the fact

That I am invisible.

I try to ignore the fact

That people I love

Ignore me.

Sometimes,

It's like I'm not even there.

I get pushed to the side in the hallway,

I feel the heated and hateful stares

From the girl that hurt me.

I feel the begging gaze

Of an ex.

I won't meet them.

If they make me feel invisible,

I'll do the same to them.

And other times,

It's like the spotlight shines

Directly down on me.

Sometimes,

Everyone wants to talk to me,

It seems.

Sometimes,

Every guy has a crush on me.

Sometimes,

I feel like I'm seen.

I don't understand it.

I hate when I get in fights with friends

And we don't talk for weeks.

I hate it when I have a class

With a friend I don't talk to as much,

And they ignore me.

Instantly,

I'm invisible again. 

They act like I'm invisible,

Like I don't exist.

They act like I didn't try

To be a better person,

For them

And only them.

Was I wasting my time?

I'm Michael in the bathroom,

Crying in the mirror.

I'm Evan on the stage,

Stumbling and dropping everything important.

I'm Connor in the library,

Reading books that no one will understand.

I'm Alexander in a bedroom,

Not knowing how to say no to this.

I'm Zoe writing songs,

Wondering when she'll get noticed.

I'm Cosette singing as she sweeps,

Dreaming of a happier world.

I'm Elphaba covering her skin,

Wishing to be accepted.

I'm Jean Valjean running away,

Trying to escape the jailers of his life.

I'm a nerd writing references into a poem.

I'm invisible,

And sometimes,

It feels like I'll be like that forever.

I try to help as many people as I can,

But sometimes they don't help me.

I'll even say I'm not okay,

And sometimes they make jokes.

No one understands the stress

Of such an imperfect life like mine.

I'm suffering everyday,

And I don't know how to escape.

I'm dying inside

And out.

I'm wishing for a better life,

When I'm happy.

I'm crying in my room,

Wondering if we'll be friends again.

I'm sitting in a class,

Scrolling through nothing on my phone.

Just try to act busy.

I'm alone...

I'm unwanted...

I'm invisible.