A Girl in a Forgetful World

My Everything

It's the secret moments we shared,

The lingering stares

Met by a smile...

An unmistakable smile.

It's the way you smelled my hair,

And sighed.

It made me laugh

Every time,

As you blushed a deep red.

I loved that about you.

The way we swayed to the music,

The love songs,

The way you put your arms around me

Felt so, so good.

I've fallen asleep in those arms,

I could do it every night.

You'd whisper in my ear

And tell me everything would be alright.

The world seemed like such a perfect place,

Just like the song we first danced to.

You told me I was perfect,

No matter the mistakes I made,

No matter what things I have done

That I am not proud of. 

I believed you,

And now I wish I hadn't.

It felt nice to have the burst of confidence,

To have the feeling that at least 

Someone more than a friend

Could love me.

These moments that I look back on-

The first time we hugged,

The first time we held hands,

The first time we kissed...

These moments are my everything.

You gave me something no one else

Ever can beat or replace.

You gave me love,

A true,

Deep,

Passionate love.

I could tell by the way you kissed me-

Hard and warm,

That we were meant to be together.

I could tell you loved me,

And, to me,

That was everything.

But now...

Now I know that

Your lips have been 

On another girl.

I don't know for how long,

I don't know for how much,

But I know that

When someone hurts you,

You can't let them do it again.

I want to give into your begging

And pleading.

I want to be weak

And vulnerable again with you

Because when I was,

You listened to everything,

And you instantly became my everything.

It hurts that we can't touch 

Like how we did before.

It hurts that after I told you

I might not be around forever,

You embraced it.

We went through so many obstacles together

Because you always fight for your everything...

You're my everything,

So I couldn't give up.

But you did.

I guess I must not have been

Your everything

Because you gave up 

Our secret moments,

Just you and me,

To another girl.

My heart isn't a toy,

And neither am I.

I won't come crawling back to you,

Not until you give me a damn good reason to.

I have to be strong

So that you learn.

It's hard to give up my everything,

And it's hard to fight for us.

I know that my heart will never give up, though.

Your heart doesn't lie.

We have a connection nothing and no one can explain.

I felt it the first day I met you,

And it has stayed with us since.

Maybe we can work through this,

And maybe we can be strong. 

We have to work together,

And it feels like we haven't done that in so long. 

I will always remember

How you would make me laugh

Until the tears weren't from sadness anymore.

I can never forget the smile on your face

When you saw me in the mornings

At school.

I love to think about

The first time we texted after getting together

And it felt different,

But also right.

I will never forget 

How happy you made me.

When the world could not give me strength,

You would.

You were everything I needed.

This was my everything,

This was my all...

But now,

It's gone.