I wish that I
Could grow out of this,
I wish that I
Could take back the things I said
And the things that I didn't.
I wish that I
Could take away the pain.
Neverland to me
Is a place of regret,
Of wishing these things never happened.
It's a land I want to leave.
I'm stuck in this Neverland,
I'm stuck missing you
And I'm stuck crying over her.
In my Neverland,
I stumble upon the things
I wish I never saw.
I cause my own pain
By seeing them laugh together.
I hurt us by saying,
"Never again,
Not after what you did..."
But secretly...
I miss our long talks,
I miss being able to cry
And complain,
And your consolingly open ears.
I wish I never said goodbye.
In my Neverland,
I see the fight growing bigger.
I try to forget it -
I've gotten good at ignoring my pain
And locking it away.
I still feel the banging in my chest,
I still hear their words.
I still feel the tears.
The panic tingles,
It runs up my veins
And into my brain.
My lungs begin to close.
They try to suffocate me,
And sometimes...
I wish they had.
In my Neverland,
I see his face,
The freckles on his nose
And the tears in his eyes
As I tell him goodbye.
In my Neverland,
I witness myself push away
Everyone who loves me.
Why is it
That they never stay?
I used to think it was their fault,
Not being sensitive enough
Around the fragile me...
Now I realize that I'm the monster,
I'm the one that made my Neverland,
Where I cannot leave
And I cannot grow up
Because I'm stuck in this pain,
The pain I made...
I'm stuck inside
My never-ending Neverland.
I miss them,
I miss his hugs,
I miss the small talk.
I miss the class I met him in,
I miss the funny group chats,
I miss the morning "I love you"s
And goodnight cuddles.
It's my fault that they're all gone,
It's my fault that they'll eventually leave me.
You can't leave Neverland,
The land of nevers
And what if's
And buts.
I wander into the woods,
Trying to hide the tears with the rain.
Where did I go wrong?
They're all gone...
And I'm alone.
It's the sting -
The realization
Of Neverland
That hurts the most.
YOU ARE READING
A Girl in a Forgetful World
PoetryThis is a collection of all the poetry I have written. Some sadness, some happiness, and a concotion of both. Poetry is my way to vent and let my emotions flow freely. Thanks for checking it out, and I really hope you enjoy what you find! And please...
