A Girl in a Forgetful World

I Remember

I remember staying up late

And sending each other pictures

On Snapchat.

Sometimes they were goofy,

Just like you,

And sometimes

They would make me smile

Because you told me how pretty I looked

And how much you loved me.

I remember when I would
Send you screenshots of a song
I was listening to
That reminded me of you.

I remember when you said
You missed and loved me.
You missed holding my hand,
Missed the smell of my perfume.
You loved the way I laughed,
Loved the way sang.

I remember when we first starting dating
And my phone starting buzzing
At six o'clock in the morning.
I was so mad that someone woke me up,
But then I saw your name
And smiled so wide.
I had never smiled like that before.

I remember what the message said...
"Morning" with two hearts.
What a wonderful way to wake up.
I replied with "Good morning"
Along with my own set of heart emojis.

I remember that feeling in my chest
When you made me laugh.
It felt like nothing could hurt me,
That the world was happy
And bright again...
Because I had you.

I remember when we didn't talk as much,
And when I so eagerly missed you.

I remember when I felt we should break up.

I remember how it happened.
I poured out my heart in one long text,
And you asked me if you did something wrong.
"No," I said, "it's totally me."
You wanted to stay friends
And I said "Okay".

I remember the first day of school
And meeting eye contact with you.
All the feelings came rushing back.
The whispered I love you's,
The hurried kisses on the head,
The passionate words of appreciation.
It shocked me.
Why had I been so stupid as to give you up?

I remember when you tugged my arm in the hallway
And pulled me into your chest.
"I still love you..." You whispered in my ear
And rushed off with one last look.

I remember when you yelled my name
After the final bell
And told me to call you.

I remember seeing you cry for the first time
As you told me how much you missed me,
How much you needed me.

I remember agreeing to get back together.

I remember kissing you for the first time.

I remember being happy.
I was with you again,
And that was all I would ever need.

I remember being outside.
The air was cold
And I was shivering.
You would always keep me warm...
But then my eyes spotted you
And that happy, warm feeling stopped.

I remember seeing you
With your hand in hers,
Not mine.

I remember asking you
Who she was
And you stuttered your reply.

I remember screaming and crying
As you told me
You were not mine...
At least,
Not fully mine.

I remember saying
"We're over.
It's me or her.
Make your decision."

I remember when you did.
I found out not through you,
But a friend.
What a horrible way to say goodbye.

I remember our last
'I love you'.
If I had known
What would become of us
I would have never stopped saying it.

I remember coming home crying,
Begging God to spare me some mercy.
You were my happiness,
And now I lost you...
To another girl.

I will always remember
How you said 'I love you'...

I will always remember
How you would hug me...

I will always remember
How warm you made me feel...

I remember so many things,
But I will always remember
You.