Runaway ✔

046 • Dana

It was a long ride, Dana felt exhausted when they arrived at TM. She could barely stand on her feet any longer. It was quiet in the clubhouse, but Dana headed in a straight line to the dorm rooms. She feared she would collaps if she had to receive more comforting hugs. She apologized to Juice without looking at him and went to her own room. There she dropped down on the bed. She kicked out her shoes and stared at the wall. She felt queasy, and she had the feeling she could burst out into tears by the smallest breeze. Her belongings weren't back yet, Happy probably hadn't returned. Thinking about her brother made her feel gloomy. The past days they'd spent more time than in the years before, but she felt an almost unbridgeable distance between them. Would she sit here again within a few weeks, mourning for her brother who'd died without them having become any closer? 

She looked up when there was a knock on the door. With a sigh she stood up and walked to it. 

"Hey..." Juice stood a little lost in the doorway. With his hand he rubbed his mohawk. "I thought... You mind if I stay with ya tonight?'

She felt her cheeks glow when she saw those of him blush. 

"I mean... Just wanna have you close. To know you're safe. In case nightmares..." He didn't finish his sentence and dropped his eyes. 

Dana did the same. "I... I don't think that a good idea, Juice."

A tear rolled down her cheek. Oh, she wanted it so badly, to fall asleep in his arms, knowing he was safe. But she heard Danny's words again, insinuating they'd killed her mother. 

She kept staring at the ground, hoping he would leave. But he didn't move. She jolted when he suddenly took her hand, his thumb rubbed the back of it. 

"Why not?" His voice sounded broken.

She wanted to pull back her hand, but it felt like she had no control over her limbs. Instead she closed her eyes. Tears pressed through her eyelashes anyway. "We... we just shouldn't go on with this."

She could barely hear her own words. She felt how he bowed over her, opened the door a little more and stepped into her room. Dana did her very best to muster courage. "Juice... please..."

"I love you, Dana."

Her eyes grew wide while she looked up. "W-what?"

He shrugged. "I just do."

The loving glance in his eyes made her tremble. She swallowed with difficulty. 

His lips formed that beautiful smile again. "You don't need to say anything. I just want you to know I love you, and that I'm here for you. Even... even when you don't feel the same about me."

Although he'd said she didn't need to say something, she saw in his eyes that he was looking for confirmation. She let out a shaky sigh. 

"Hey, come here." 

She didn't object when he wrapped his arms around her. One hand raked through her hair while he pressed his forehead against hers. A while they were just standing there. She raised her head a little, found his lips and kissed them. Carefully, hesitating. It was a kiss of reluctant surrender, a small crack to a future where he would stand beside her.

Longing rose in her body, filling every far corner of her body. She wanted his love to fill all of her, so that there wouldn't be anything but the two of them. 

But that was an illusion. One that would shatter sooner or later. 

With stooped shoulders she turned her face away. She took his hand, sat down on her bed and pulled him next to her. 

"Maddox killed my mom. Danny told me. Said they'd given her the wrong medication."

"Holy shit," Juice stammered, staring at her with wide eyes. 

"Yea." She bend her head, lifted his hand and kissed the knuckle of his forefinger. "The reason I don't want anything serious with you, ain't because I'm afraid of bad memories. Believe me... I wanna be your girl." She kissed another knuckle. "I wanna be yours, want you to be mine." She lowered his hand and looked up again. "But I know you would become Maddox' new target. And I don't wanna lose you, Juice." Her lips started to shake. "I can't deal with that." She took a deep breath. "So yea, I wanna be your girl. But not now. Only when Maddox is gone." She bit her lip. "And I don't know... I don't know if that will ever happen."

"That sure as hell will happen." His nose stroke her auricle, before he kissed her skin right beneath her ear. "Maddox killed your mom. Happy's mom. He'll pay for that. The club will take him out."

Dana froze. "What... what do you mean? You goin' to attack him?"

He looked at her in silence. Then he nodded. "Yea. Nobody touches our family. Happy wants his revenge. Not only because of you, also because of your mom. He won't rest until that asshole is dead." A regretful expression slid over his face. "I'm sorry. Ain't nothing you can do about. All of us will support him."

She sat up straight. "You can't tell him!"

"I have to, Dana." He gave her a penetrating look. "That's the way it works."