Runaway ✔

115 • Dana

Via the fire escape they'd climbed to the roof. This time Juice really wanted to talk to her, and not ending up naked after a few minutes. They sat a few inches away from the edge of the roof, next to each other, their knees drawn up and their arms wrapped around them. 

Now Dana knew she couldn't get out, she decided to just cut the chase. Before she could start, Juice however lit up a cigarette, took a hit and gave it to her. She smiled gratefully. 

"Maddox called the restaurant where we were having dinner. Opie didn't want me to take the call, but I knew someone was in danger. I thought he had you." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat and took a deep breath. She gave back the cigarette to Juice and stared down. More and more bikes were rolling up the terrain, Sons of other charters who wanted to be at Opie's funeral. "Opie gave back the phone to the waitress. I pulled the gun Happy had given me and forced the girl to hand it to me." 

Ashamed she stared at her Vans. There were dark smudges on it. Was it Opie's blood? A shiver crept down her spine. 

"Maddox told me to kill Opie outside Charming. If I refused, he would play Russian Roulette with Kenny and Ellie." She rubbed her eyes as they started to itch. Her lips trembled as she thought back to the voice she'd heard through the phone. "There was a girl on the phone who sounded just like Ellie. I thought... I really thought it was her. But Koz... Koz told me they were in the club house. And Opie believed me. He wanted... He wanted me to shoot him. And so... so I did. I held him, put the gun against his head and pulled the trigger." She gasped for breath. "I really did it, Juice. Jax and Clay will kill me if they ever find out and you know what? I wish they could, I really wished I was dead but then I would never be able to testify against Maddox and Hap and Tig will stay in prison for the rest of their lives."

Juice turned a bit, creating more space between his feet so he could pull her in his arms. Dana closed her eyes as she leaned against him, while his lips touched her temple. He said nothing and Dana was secretly glad about it. Her breathing was raging and she tried to focus on his, hoping to calm down. 

"You couldn't have known he was lying, baby." He stroked a few strands of hair out of her face and caressed her cheek. "You did what you had to do. What Opie wanted you to do."

"I should have called," she muttered. "I should have called to see if they were really at home. But Maddox told me they would die if a Son came close and I thought... I thought..." She squeezed her eyes, hoping to expel the tears. 

"Sssh. It was foul play. He gave you no choice, even if he tries to convince you otherwise."

Quietly sobbing she leaned against him. Never before his arms around her had felt so good. This was where she wanted to be. Despite all the danger surrounding them. It was a selfish thought, even though she knew he would agree with her.

"You could have told me. You know that right? Did you think I wouldn't understand you?"

Dana kept her eyes closed as she answered: "As soon as I knew I would save Opie's children, I'd decided to go back to Maddox. After Opie's funeral. But Kozik had his suspicions and I decided to leave before Opie's funeral, hoping nobody would expect that." She sighed. "I didn't want you to remember me as the killer of your friend, Juice. Those few days I had with you... I wanted to be near you as often as I could. Even if you would forgive me eventually, I didn't want you to distance yourself from me. Not on that moment... So I called Koz, hoping he would know what to do, and I asked him not to tell you anything."

"Kozik knew? The whole truth? Since the beginning?" She felt how the muscles of his arms tensed. 

"He did." She sighed quietly. "It could have been you, Juice. You could have been the one lying on my feet. I couldn't..." She shook her head. "I was afraid you would freak out. And I was already freakin' out. I needed someone... someone who knew what to do."

He kept silent for a long time. She could almost hear the thoughts circling around in his head. She raised her head and looked at him. His dark eyes were full of doubts. 

"I love you, Juice. I'm glad you can cry when your friend dies and that you would freak out if you knew your girlfriend was the one killing him. These responses are normal, it would have worried me if you hadn't been acting that way. And I know you would have tried to help me if I'd called you, but I just thought there was someone else who could better deal with... conceal things and getting rid of bodies. That I called Kozik because he has some traits I needed that moment, doesn't mean I wished you'd have been just like him. Okay? Don't think otherwise..."

"Okay..." he muttered. Even though he was nodding, she knew her words hadn't been enough to really convince him. 

"I love you," she repeated, pressing kisses on his jaw. She looked him in the eye. "I'm glad you brought me home. To you. I'm sorry I.... I... I know I've hurt you."

"You did." He sighed. "But I love you too," he said in return. He stroked her cheek. "And I will never let you go."

His dark eyes found hers and he held her stare. 

"Never."