Runaway ✔

111 • Dana

Dana wiped away a silent tear from her cheek. She was standing in the doorway as she watched Juice's sleeping face for the very last time. His arms were clutched around the blankets and in the dim light she could just distinguish his tattoos. Oh, how badly she wanted to crawl back to his protective arms...

She took a deep breath and winced as a whimper left her lips.

He didn't hear her, as always he was sound asleep.

Quietly she closed the door. Her heart contracted painfully, as if it wanted to keep her from leaving. Maybe it would just decide to stop beating. Then it would all be over, right here, right now. 

Determined she walked through the hallway. No, her body was stronger than that. She'd lived with Maddox before, she could do it again. It wouldn't be forever. She would find a way to get rid off him and then she could start over. This time for real. 

Or she would die trying. But this was her fight and from now on she would be the only one suffering. 

It was quiet in the club house. The nerves were piling up as she walked to the door. In silence she prayed Kozik wouldn't be the one on guard tonight, for he would see right through her. 

Relief flushed through her as she recognized Phil's stature. The portly prospect had a kinder mind than the others and he would be too insecure to step up to her. She hadn't spoken with him often, he always stayed in the back and checked the phone records. 

A measure that had led them nowhere. 

Maddox had just opted a whole different location to get in touch with her. Thinking about her tormentor made bile creep up into her throat. Still she conjured up a shaky smile on her face as she passed him. Through his glasses she saw his confused glance. 

"I just need some fresh air." She waved with a pack of cigarettes. "Just a moment of contemplation. Have some trouble sleepin'."

He nodded understanding. "You... you want company?"

"Nah, I'll be fine. Being alone for a while won't hurt. I'll stay close to the door."

She walked further before she could no longer hold her nerves and stepped through the doorway. He didn't come after her. To draw no suspicion she sat down on the picknick table to really have a smoke. Playing with the silver lighter Juice had given her a few weeks ago, she stared at the fence she would have to put aside soon. She remembered the first time she rode down the parking lot, her heart almost exploding because of the adrenaline it'd pumped through her body during the three hour drive to Charming. She could see herself getting off Maddox's bike, taking off her helmet and being stared by many curious eyes. Had Juice been there too? She couldn't remember. It had been Opie who'd came to her, who'd looked after her like he'd done ever since. 

She tried to swallow the lump in her throat. As he'd known what fate was awaiting him, would he have ignored her that first day?

No, he wouldn't. She knew that damn well. He wouldn't have changed a damn thing. But she would. If she could turn back time, she would change everything. Even if it meant she would never get to know Juice. 

It would have been better for him. And for her maybe as well. Then she wouldn't have missed him as much as she would do now. Hell, as she was already doing!

She took a deep breath, walked to the garage and opened the door. Just like the days before the door wasn't locked: the fence was enough. She took her helmet off the hook, lifted the key from a nail on the wall and headed for her bike. Quietly she unlocked the chain and opened the fence a bit. Then she pushed her bike through it.

Only a block away from the garage she dared to start the engine. In the meantime she couldn't see anything because of the tears. Regret swirled through her chest. Whether it was caused by the fact that she was leaving or by the fact she'd came her in the first place was hard to tell. 

But it hurt, like a raw wound with edges too rough to ever heal nicely.