Runaway ✔

080 • Dana

Dana wished she could stay in bed, feeling his warm body against hers and hearing his peaceful snoring in the background. It was easy to forget everything when his hands were all over her body and his lips seemed to soak up all her worries. 

But in the end they always returned and caused a dull feeling of guilt. While Juice and she had made love three times tonight, her brother and Tig had been in a cell, cursing their fate, and Kozik was fighting for his life. 

Kozik...

Something heavy descended in her stomach. The idea that Maddox could so easily take away two people she cared about, squeezed her throat. Could she stay here? No doubt about it, Maddox knew exactly where she was. Where was he waiting for? Did he enjoy this? To take out everyone who cared about her one by one? Would he hide in the shadows until she'd lost everyone she loved? 

He isn't untouchable. He can die too. 

The club had learned its lesson, she assumed. They wouldn't move to San Francisco any time soon. It would leave the least victims when they stayed in Charming, close to the clubhouse. That thought was suffocating her, but if that meant she could fall asleep in Juice's arms every night and could laugh with Cherry and Opie and all the others during the day, it was certainly worth it. For her, that was enough. 

She just wanted to enjoy every minute of this. Sooner or later this would be over, she knew that, but at least she would have dozens of beautiful memories to cherish, from which she could draw strength. Seeking danger was the last thing she wanted. 

Unfortunately it wasn't her call. Seeking danger, that was something these guys did on daily basis. Admitting they couldn't handle something... Dana doubted they would ever do that. But at least one of them must be able to think, right? To realize they'd lost two members in one night? That came down to a quarter of SAMCRO! If they continued along this path, there wouldn't be a SAMCRO soon.

Who could she convince to give this some rest? Juice had too little to say, and she doubted she could convince him at all. He hated Maddox for what he'd done to her and she knew he wouldn't suggest to give up their hunt. He was too emotionally involved. 

Perhaps Clay? As president he had a lot of influence. However, she'd never had a conversation with him that consisted of more than one sentence and he seemed to be the type that believed violence was a solution for everything. 

Jax? They would value the words of the VP. She didn't know him very well, but that could be an advantage. He was less involved in this than Juice, Opie and Happy, and she had the feeling he wasn't always getting himself in trouble. It was worth a shot. 

She glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was 8:00 AM. Not too early to step by before they would go to Chapel. She quietly crawled out of Juice's embrace, even though he wasn't a light sleeper at all, and put on her underwear and a SAMCRO shirt from Juice. She picked up her dress and slipped through the door, on her way to her dorm room on the other side of the hallway. There she put on her jeans and fixed up herself a bit in front of the mirror. 

When she stood before Jax's door, she started to doubt again. Was she overreacting by waking him for this? No – she told herself. Things went really ugly yesterday. They needed to avoid a recurrence of the situation and this was the only thing she could do about it herself.

She clenched her hand into a fist and knocked on the door. "Jax?" she asked, so he would know who she was. 

It took a while before he swung open the door. He was only wearing his boxers and rubbed in his eyes, looking drowsy. "Hey," he said with a raspy voice. A mischievous smile played his lips. "Ya gettin' already bored with Juicy?"

"Yeah. Need some advice." She looked past his shoulder, to the Croweater who was still sleeping without even a little piece of the sheets covering her body. "But I guess you ain't much better."

He pulled up the corner of his mouth. "Touché."

Dana smiled briefly, before she got serious. "I need to get something off my chest. About all this. Before you... go to Chapel. And since you're the VP..." She shrugged. 

He took her in for a moment, and then nodded. "Give me a sec."

After those words he turned around and closed the door. Dana slid her hands into her pockets and waited until Jax was dressed while wondering what Juice would think about this conversation with Jax. She didn't do anything wrong, right? She just needed to vent, and it was her call with whom. Nothing was more important than the club, and what she wanted would benefit the club. 

They went out and sat down on the picknick table. Jax offered her a cigarette, but she refused it with a shake of her head. She's wasn't really into smoking when she was just out of bed. 

"Must've had a bit of a scare yesterday," he said when he'd given himself a shot nicotine. 

"I feel sorry for the guys," she admitted. "But to be honest, I saw it coming." She sighed deeply when a cloud passed over Jax's face. "You know... I never asked the club to kill Maddox. All I wanted was a place where I would feel safe. Where I could settle down. And I know I wasn't the main reason to attack Maddox: my mother's dead was." She inhaled deeply and stared at her fingers. She felt the urge to twist a ring, to fumble with something, but she wasn't wearing jewelry. "If you guys go ahead with this, there will be nothing left of SAMCRO."

"Your brother and Tig take the blame for a murder they didn't commit and one of my other brothers is already flirting with the reaper. If we don't answer this, we'll look weak."

"No, you'll look smart." Dana turned her face away. It sounded more blunt than she'd meant to, and she wondered if she wasn't crossing boundaries now. From the corners of her eyes she watched Jax, who was staring in the distance. 

"I can see how you'd see that way. But the bigger picture..."

"Your honor has been tainted. I get that." She took a deep breath. "My honor has been violated too, Jax. If there's anyone who wants Maddox to answer for all the things he's done, it's me. But I also know we're like a bunch of rabbits attacking a fucking T-Rex.  He possesses half of a city, he got the cops of San Fran covering his ass and in their eyes all of you are nothing but a bunch of criminals. There's no point in trying to catch him on his own terrain, it's better to wait 'till he comes to us. And he will. It serves no one's interest if the club is thinning out until that day."

She looked aside. Jax was still staring in the distance. The frown in his forehead showed her he was thinking about her words. 

"Maybe we can even set a trap. In our own territory," she mused. "He knows I'm here and he'll send someone to keep an eye on me. A Croweater, I bet. They constantly walk in and out here, they can easily keep him up to date. I really think it will be worth monitoring them. They won't be happy about it when finding out, but if we can look into their incoming and outgoing texts..."

Jax shook his head, chuckling. "Juice's old lady, huh? He's whispering words like that in your ear during the night?"

She pulled up the corner of her mouth. "I ain't gonna share his sweet words with his VP." She winked. "But no, I don't think Juice will approve this idea and he almost certainly won't bring it to the table. He's too close to me to look that far ahead." She examined Jax's face. "But the bigger picture, like you said... I think you have a good view on it. If you agree with me... and act like this isn't my idea, but yours..." She hesitated moment. "Then I would be very grateful." 

He considered her words for a while, then he patted her knee. "I'll think about it. I promise."