Runaway ✔

091 • Juice

Juice felt his jaws tense when he saw the two sitting together. Dana had bent her head and he wondered if she finally felt too ashamed to look at him or that her defeated attitude was caused by something else. Kozik sat next to her, relaxed, even though there was a compulsory look in his eyes. Despite his often friendly behavior he wasn't the type of person you ignored easily, and since he'd been a SAA of SAMTAC, he had a higher position too. 

"Sorry babe, gotta go over there," he told the girl on his shoulders and he bend his knees so she could fall down in the water. A second later there was a splash, and water spatted around. 

Before he could walk to the shore, her fingers laced with his. 

"You coming back?"

He couldn't help it; he couldn't say he didn't care about her hopeful glance. She knew perfectly well hard words had fallen between his old lady and him, and he knew she would try to kiss him if he stayed with her. He pulled back his hand and shrugged his shoulders, he didn't want to give her the wrong impression. Running into someone else's arms during a fight in a relationship had never benefited anyone. 

He waded to the shore, his jeans stuck to his legs and felt heavy. A meter away from the two he nodded his head upward, in a silent question what was going on.

"Dana wants to go home. You bring her back?" Kozik asked. 

Juice aimed his eyes on Dana, who still stared into the water. "You're not talkin' to me anymore?" He didn't like Kozik playing some kind of messenger. 

Still she didn't look up. In silence he watched her dropped shoulders, her fingers that clawed through the grass. What should he do? Pushing his own wronged feelings away so she would feel better? Or should he not let himself be manipulated and stand his ground? He hated all this relationship shit.

With a sigh he sat down next to her and gave Kozik a intrusive look. If he really had to talk to her, he wanted to do that alone. The man got the hint, squeezed Dana's shoulder and walked away. 

Hesitantly Juice laid a hand on her thigh, hoping she would at least look up. She tensed immediately and with a sigh he removed his fingers. There was a little voice inside his head whispering she'd responded differently when Kozik touched her. 

"You want him to take you to the clubhouse?" Juice asked when her silence caused a dull feeling in his chest. "You wanna be with him?"

She said nothing. He however saw a tear running down her cheek. He was already moving his hand to wipe it away, but decided not to touch her again. Why didn't she want to be touched anymore? He really didn't get it. She was acting like he had been the one who'd kissed someone else.

With a deep sigh he stood up again. "I assume you first need a good talk with him before you got something to say to me. I'll sleep in my apartment tonight. When you've figured it all out, I'll hear it, I guess."

Her head shot upwards. Her glance flew from him to the lake and back. He didn't understand her sudden panic, until he realized she was looking at the Croweater that was peddling for his attention for hours. 

The sight of it calmed his whirling stomach a little. He smiled sadly because she was afraid that he would search for someone else's warmth tonight. "Until you don't want me anymore, you don't have to worry about her," he promised. He didn't know how he could say something like that so gently, knowing she would soon have a conversation that was undoubtedly involving their future. 

Finally she looked him right in the eye. It was hard to explain the look in her eyes, and he felt a lump in his throat when he saw the tears that were piling up. He remembered all the shit she was dealing with. Her mother that had died, her brother and father in prison, her ex that still wanted to destroy her life. 

After a short hesitation he offered her his hand. Relief flushed through his veins when she took it. He pulled her on her feet and into her arms. 

"My head's a mess, Juice," she sobbed against his chest. "But I... I don't wanna lose you. I... I just need some time to figure things out."

"Okay," he answered softly, rubbing between her shoulders. He pressed his lips against her crown. "I love you, Dana. Whatever thoughts are bothering you, you should never doubt that."

She nodded against his chest, took a deep breath and stepped out of the water.

Juice watched how she walked to Kozik, with a nagging feeling in his stomach. Although she'd never told him she loved him and he'd never cared about it before, the lack of the words did hurt this time. And why was she afraid to lose him? What thoughts bothered her so much that she didn't dare to share them with him? What kind of connection existed between Kozik and her if it could mess up their whole relationship? 

He heaved a deep sigh and decided to clear his head too. He thanked Gemma for dinner, went home and flopped on a chair at the porch. There he lit a joint. He felt a little guilty about it, knowing Dana hated any kind of drugs because of her father's use. Nevertheless he needed something to calm him down. He had no idea what Dana and Kozik were doing and suddenly he felt like the biggest idiot on earth for letting her leave with the man who'd tried to kiss her just a few hours ago.