Runaway ✔

104 • Juice

Juice wrapped his arms around her, bowed his head and buried his face in her hair. In silence he cursed the tears that were piling up again. 

Opie was dead.

And he had almost lost her. 

The first one caused a pounding, nagging pain, something that would become much worse if the truth would fully hit him. The second... that made him almost choke. Something that had almost happened, felt more real and depressing than something that had really happened. 

Nevertheless a warm tear rolled down his cheek as he heard her cry, even though his chest smothered her sobs. Her fingers had curled around the hem of his cut, so tightly she appeared to be scared to collaps if she let go. 

Juice wished he knew what to say. 

But he couldn't think of anything, not a single word. 

He couldn't say it would be all right, for that would never happen. They'd both lost a friend. They would learn to live with it, but they would carry it with them for the rest of their lives. He had always known something like this could happen and he wasn't worried about himself, but Dana... she was already carrying so much weight he couldn't imagine she could take more pain.

A terrible feeling came over him. What if she couldn't handle this? What if she realized she rather said life goodbye, so nobody would be suffering because of her? For he knew that had been the reason she'd wanted to return to Maddox. If Kozik hadn't warned him, she might have been on the way right now. 

A shiver crept down his spine. Was that a thought that was really plaguing her? What if that was the only way out she could see? Or would she have done that months ago?

No, she'd been a fighter back then. She'd believed there would be a day to escape from Maddox. But it was the other way around now. Now she believed she had to return to him one day, to make sure nobody else would die. 

For a long time they held each other in silence. Frantically Juice kept searching for the right words, until he realized she might not want to hear any words. She just wanted to be hold. And so he did, while pressing his lips in her hair and whispering how much he loved her and that he would make sure nothing happened to her. 

Eventually she looked up to him. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I didn't... I didn't wanna... but..." She shook her head. "I just don't know anymore."

Juice wiped the tears from her cheeks, which had blended with blood. 

Opie's blood.

Bile came up. She had to be right next to him when the man shot him. Yet another horrific image she would never forget. "Come, you're covered in blood."

When she stared at him feral and stunned, he took her hand and led her to the bathroom. 

. . .

The warm shower seemed to do Dana well, even though the empty look in her eyes returned quickly. Juice was lying on the bed, stroking her back. Dana had curled up on her side, her head resting on his chest. She was staring at the wall, with a pale face and big eyes. He knew she saw the shot fired over and over again.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked softly. 

She didn't respond, he doubted she'd heard him. Should he repeat himself? Or was it better to leave it at this? Would she start to talk on her own, like the time her mother had died? Should he talk? Would his voice soothe her, like hers was always doing for him? He still didn't know what to say. Now silence surrounded him, memories of Opie popped up. Images forced themselves on him. He thought about the many nights they'd hung around in the clubhouse, the long trips they'd taken and he even remembered a night when they'd been so drunk they'd decided to walk to the Arctic. Next morning they'd woken up at a roundabout thirty kilometers to the east. He smiled sadly while seeing Opie's proud face when he flaunted with his new-born daughter for the first time, and how Juice had pretended to let Kenny slip out of his arms, the first time he'd held Opie's son. He could still see Opie's shocked face. It had resulted in a black eye, and he could still smile about it.

His eyes wandered to Dana's face again. She was still staring at the wall, as if she was no longer mentally in the same room. The sight of it brought back memories about the period right after Donna had died. Nobody had been able to get through to Opie. Had that been his last thought, right before he died? That he could finally hold Donna in his arms again?

Would that be his last thought too, some day? Or Dana's?

What if Maddox killed him too? Would she ever smile again? Would she smile at all after today? He pressed his lips together to keep them from trembling. He just wanted to take her away from here, to a place where Maddox would never find her. But he doubted such a place existed and he didn't think the club would approve it. Within these walls was the safest place she could be, Clay would probably say. If she'd stayed there, Opie might still have breathed. They had been careless. Not only Dana, but all of them. 

They'd underestimated Maddox again. More than anything he wanted to lock her up in the basement, assured that nobody could get to her. But what kind of life was that? He couldn't do that to her, right? He didn't even want her to do that to herself. 

But what was the alternative? 

He didn't know. 

This time he really didn't know what to do. 

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Hey all! I'm not having the best day today and the translation of the chapter sounds very crappy to me, but I still wanted to upload a new one. So sorry, hopefully the next will be better!