Runaway ✔

094 • Juice

Juice stared at the ceiling. Hours ago he'd given up the hope to fall asleep. Maybe he should have picked up the phone, but he hadn't been willing to talk to her while he was high. She'd neither left him a message nor sent him a text, nor had she called again. Whatever she wanted to tell him could apparently wait until tomorrow. And maybe he wanted to wait too. He didn't want to see his fear that she'd reconnected with an old lover who she would choose over him, turn into reality. For what else was there to think about? She'd probably wanted to tell him that as soon as possible, so she could fall asleep in Kozik's arms tonight without having to feel guilt. But one attempt to call him might have been enough for them. 

With a deep sigh he turned on his side. It was 4 AM, the alarm clock told him. He was glad it was Sunday today, so he wouldn't have to go to the garage. Hopefully Kozik turned back to Tacoma after the weekend. And took her with him. 

The thought made his chest cramp up. But wasn't that better than still seeing her every day? At the moment the Tacoma charter was bigger than theirs, so they had better means to protect her. He sat up straight and took a few deep breaths. Man, how long could a night take? He'd been gaming until 2 AM, and he decided he might as well continue with that. Then he could at least get rid off the frustration a bit. 

  💀  

When he woke up, his neck ached. The Playstation was still on, ominous music blasted through the living room. He rubbed his stiffened muscles and looked at the clock. 9.30 AM. He couldn't remember until what time he'd been awake, although it was hard to imagine it had already been light. 

A shrill sound overruled the game music, and it was held for such a long time he suspected it wasn't the first time someone buzzed. 

He stood up, stretched his back with a grim face and walked to the hallway. It was probably one of his brothers because he hadn't picked up his phone. 

Or it was Dana.

All of a sudden he was wide awake. There was a knot in his stomach, and even before he'd opened the door there was another one in his throat. 

It was her. 

Instead of looking at him, she briefly glanced over her shoulder. Juice had the feeling the blood clotted in his veins when he saw Kozik, sitting on his bike. The man raised his hand and left the street. 

"Hey," she said quietly. "Can I... Can I come in?"

"Can't slam the door right in your face, huh? You're ride is already gone."

She looked up to him. Usually her brokenness would have hit him, but today his own hurt feelings had the upper hand. He turned around and let the door open.

"I'll get dressed," he yelled over his shoulder, since he felt even more vulnerable in his boxers alone. It was a stupid idea clothes would hide how terrible he felt, but he couldn't let go of the feeling. 

Slowly he dressed himself, doing everything in his might to delay the confrontation. With his shirt in his hands he sat on the edge of his bed for a while, trying to pull himself together. This was ridiculous. If she wanted to dump him, he just had to face that. 

With a sigh he pulled his shirt over his head and descended the stairs. He noticed she'd turned off the TV and rolled up the wire of the controller. 

"You gamed all night?" she asked softly. 

"Why do you care?" He shoved his hands into his pockets and sat on the edge of the table. At a small distance he looked at her. Contrary to yesterday she seemed to feel guilty today. She'd crossed her arms in front of her chest while sitting straight on the couch, avoiding to look him right in the eye. Was that because much more had happened between Kozik and her by now? 

"I... I called you yesterday... And this morning."

"I know." 

"Okay..." It was a soft whisper that left her lips. 

He knew it was his moodiness that made her so insecure, but he didn't know how to change that. Maybe he should just ask her what he wanted to know. He just wanted to get over with it. "You go back to him?"

As soon as he'd spoken the words, he could barely breathe. What if she said yes? Or nodded? 

A vibration went through his chest when she looked at him. "I have no feelings for Kozik, Juice."

He needed a few seconds to realize what she was saying. She had no feelings for him. Not... at all? He couldn't imagine, he'd seen how they'd touched each other. With a sulky face he folded his arms. "I don't believe that."