Runaway ✔

108 • Dana

Dana hadn't cried since the night she'd killed Opie. 

But now she was looking down at his body in the coffin, the tears ran down her cheeks again. Her fingers were trembling as she wrapped them around the cold edge. Her throat was squeezed. His skin probably felt even colder than the wood. 

She noticed Juice laid an arm around her waist and unconsciously she stepped aside. "Can I... Can I be alone while saying my goodbyes?" she asked with a trembling voice, without taking her eyes off Opie's pale face. 

"Yeah... sure."

Nevertheless she could hear the hurt in Juice's voice. It didn't do a lot to her, she had to admit. She felt cold inside, ice cold. 

"I'm sorry," she mumbled when she was sure she was alone. Her eyes were glued to the side of Opie's head, where she'd pressed the gun to his skin. The man or woman who'd prepared his body had hidden the wound as much as was possible, but Dana could still see it. 

She took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes, trying to imagine how his arms had felt around her, how his resigned voice has sounded. But she no longer felt his arms, she could no longer bring back the tone of his voice. 

He was gone. For good.

Her lips were trembling. She leaned heavily against the coffin, her legs felt powerless. Her nails scraped across the edge of the chest while she gasped. Sobbing she bowed her head. Tears splashed on her hands and the wood. Her shoulders were shaking. 

Footsteps approached her, and a moment later someone freed her stiffened fingers. Because of the veil of tears she couldn't see who it was and her nose was too stuffy to recognize someone's scent. Deep down she hoped it was Kozik. 

Kozik knew what she'd done, he knew what was going on in her head. But when she was turned around and felt his arms around her, she knew it was Juice. 

"I wanted... alone..."

"No. You don't need to do this all by yourself." His voice sounded firm while he held her tight. "I know how you feel."

A storm of indignation arose inside her. She laid her hands against his chest and pushed him away. "You have no fucking idea how I feel!"

She wanted to snarl more things to him, but the remnants of her angry words got lost in her sobs. The hurt look in his eyes seemed to burn right through her blur of tears. Crying she turned away her face. "You... you have to say your goodbyes with your brothers."

She wiped her eyes so she could see where she walked and strode away from him, right past the other Sons, out. A part of her wanted to straddle a random Harley and drive away, away from all this misery. The misery she'd caused. 

"Goin' somewhere?" a voice sounded behind her.

Dana heaved a sigh when she recognized Kozik's voice – and he didn't sound as friendly as usual. She turned around and glared at him. "What horrible person do you think I am, that I would leave my boyfriend at a moment like this."

Her stomach cramped. She was exactly the kind of person Kozik was taking her for. She would indeed leave Juice at the moment he needed her the most. But she would do so to protect him – and all the others. 

Kozik studied her face. "What horrible person do you think you are?"

She bent her head as silent tears rolled down her cheeks . "I can't be there with the others, Koz," she sobbed. "I'm the reason Ope's there. Every tear that is falling down, is because of me."

"Come on, Dane! You didn't kill him for fun, right?" He stepped closer and pulled her against his chest. "It was Opie's own choice. He wanted to sacrifice himself for his children."

"But if I..."

"If... if... thinking like that won't change a damn thing."

Dana looked up to him. Kozik held her glance and continued, on an intrusive tone. "We all know the risks we are taking because we're Sons. Our path crosses that of assholes all the time, whether it's your ex or someone else. Opie killed a man and had to face the consequences. Just like Maddox will. We all live with the consequences of the things we do or refuse to do, and sometimes those consequences just suck. But you're strong, Dana. You'll get through this. Deep down you know you made the right decision, you couldn't have make two innocent children suffer for a murder their father committed."

Dana took a deep breath and nodded meekly when Kozik kept staring at her. 

It had been a choice between bad and worse. No decision would have felt right. 

Even if she'd refused to chose, Maddox would have made sure Opie's children would never have seen another day.

Even though it couldn't be Kozik's intention, his words strengthened her decision. 

Deep down she knew that was the right thing to do as well.  She had to make sure she never would have to choose between two lives again. And the only way to achieve that, was by giving in. 

By going back to him.