Unknown Factors (Book One)

Ch.4: You sit back now

  "My sodden sleeping chair is bloody....sodden!" Spike complained after the mini-earthquake shook loose a water pipe.

  "The quake just knocked a couple of pipes loose." Xander said while putting a bucket under the leak. "There's a wrench hanging up over there by the workbench. Try tightening the coupling."

  "I look like a plumber to you?"

  "No, you look like a big mooch who doesn't lift a finger around here. But I have to get to work."

  "Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doin' your part to keep America constipated."

  "Mock not. Remember who pays for the plasma around here, pal." Xander stated while putting on his uniform shirt and grabbing his hat and a wrench. "You earn your keep, or you don't get kept." He handed Spike the wrench. "When you're done fixing that leak, try cleaning up this mess. And doing a little laundry for once wouldn't kill you. Unfortunately."

  "What about bloody Aud? I don't see her earning her keep." The vampire pointed at me.

  "Actually, she's been keeping pests out of here, saving me money on buying traps and such." Xander waved his hand, then went upstairs and left to go to work.

  "Ha! I'm not a mooch like you." I smirked before glancing up at the leaky pipe. "You gonna fix that or not?"

  "Not. I'm no sodding plumber." He clenched his jaw while looking at the water filling the bucket. "How about you bloody do it, huh? There's an idea."

  "Fine, I will, you pansy." I said while taking the wrench from him. Looking around, I found a stool to step on so I could reach the pipe. "If I fall, tell Buffy to stake you and that I'll miss Giles." I said after seeing how high up I was.

  "Oh, and I'm the pansy? You won't die from that short of a fall."

  "Says the undead." Shaking my head, I looked back to the pipe and began to tighten the coupling like Xander had said to try and do. It was still dripping after I had done that but not as bad as before. I took a closer look to see there was a small crack in the pipe. "Stay put. I'm going to go get some pipe putty to seal this." Climbing down from the stool, I put down the wrench. "Stay." I pointed at the vampire.

  "Where would I go? It's the middle of the day, short stack." Spike put his hands on his hips while making a face. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my jacket and headed out.

  I wasn't even gone long, but when I got back, the place was a mess. The washer had flooded the floor and stuff was strewn about everywhere, making it look like a hurricane had struck the basement.

  "How did this happen?!" I shouted while quickly trying to fix the pipe. "Couldn't you have at least dumped the bucket?!" The water was overflowing from it and didn't stop until I put the sealing putty onto the pipe. "Jeez...." And I began to curse under my breath while quickly dumping the bucket outside into the grass. "Spike!" I called out when I realized he was nowhere in sight.

  "It's not my bloody fault." I heard his voice coming from behind the couch.

  "Whatever, just help clean up." Walking toward him, he rose his voice.

  "Stop!"

  "Why?"

  "I don't want anyone to see me...."

  "Don't be such a drama queen. Quit pouting and come- Oh...." I stopped when I saw him. "Oh." Covering my mouth to hide my smile, I was desperately trying not to laugh. Being Rupert's daughter, I heard all about the big nasties in the world- Spike and Angelus included. But seeing 'William the Bloody' dressed the way he was was absolutely comical. A pair of Xander's khaki shorts and a Hawaiian button-up that was covered in bright colors. "What...." I snickered. "What happened?"