Unknown Factors (Book One)

Ch.35: Hot temptations

  "Spike! Spike wants me. How obscene is that?" Asking, I paused my punching.

  "Well, it is very strange. I mean," Pops scoffed. "I can't imagine what he's thinking. N-Not-Not that you're not attractive." He quickly added as I went back to hitting.

  "That's my problem, though. I don't want to attract that kind of attention." I said. "I feel gross. Like-Like....dirty."

  "Th-That's ridiculous. You can't be responsible for what Spike thinks or feels." Pops was holding a towel as he walked up next to me.

  "Well, aren't I responsible? I mean, something about me had to make him feel that, right? It was like that in those movies the Summers made me watch." I stopped punching again. "Something that made him say, 'woof, that's the one for me.'" Then, my punches got a little harder before I gave a kick.

  "Aud, darling, I think you should perhaps calm down."

  "Me, too." Xander said, making me remember that he was in the sumo-looking suit.

  "Oh, puffy Xander. I'm-I'm sorry. I got-" I reached up to take off his helmet. "I guess I got carried away. Are you okay?"

  "I'm alive. I can tell 'cause of the pain."

  "Sorry! I would have trained with Buffy, but she's got homework." I handed the helmet to Pops.    "Do you want to sit down?"

  "I'm not that bendy." He looked at the wall and pointed. "I could lean."

  "Here, I'll get some ice." Pops said.

  "Here you go." Taking Xander to the wall, I sort of cringed. "Comfy?"

  "Oh, yeah. This leaning- This is the stuff." He sighed.

  "See, that's my secret to attracting men. You know, it's simple, really." I began to pace. "You smack 'em around a bit. Show a little kindness. You show 'em some sympathy then make their lives a little hellish and-"

  "Aud."

  "Sure, being friends is fine by me, but every now and then, you'll come across a real prince like Spike who gets off on it and tries to be more." There was heavy sarcasm in my voice as I said 'prince'.

  "Aud, stand me up." Xander said as he gestured with his head. When he started leaning, I held him to keep him standing. "The problem is not you. Don't do this to yourself, please."

  "I just-" I paused while sighing. "I just wanna know that I can go out without being hit on, just be able to make friends."

  "Well, maybe there will be a day you could do that. And maybe there'll be a day when you actually don't find dating disgusting." Xander looked down at me.

  "Pfft, yeah. Sure, and there'll be a day when the apocalypse is gonna be the actual apocalypse. Oh, and then I can scare him off with my incredible strength and demonic blood and body parts." I grinned while raising a fist.

  "What? Hey, you never know."

  "Maybe I could change. You know, I could-I could work harder. I could spend more time being off-putting. I could be less sympathetic." I looked at Xander as I was still pacing. "I mean, men don't like that, right? The off-putting and being mean?"

  "Or maybe you could just be Aud. Who cares if someone's into you, you can just say you're not interested, and he'll find someone else."

  "Xander, that's....awe." I gave the human a hug. The Scoobies really were helpful people.