Unknown Factors (Book One)

Ch.108: The threat is real

  "Right. We need to set some ground rules. First off, no more punching me in the face." Spike was panting and raised his hands, talking to Illyria as I entered the training room with a plate stacked full of PB&Js. "Secondly, when I punch you in the face you tell me how you feel, so I can write that down on my clipboard." The blond bent down to pick up the aforementioned object. "Third, no touchin' my clipboard. Fourth-"

  "I enjoy hurting you."

  "Well," Spike scoffed. "we're gonna have to fix that, 'cause I'm-" Illyria kicked him in the face, but the vampire didn't even go down, so I didn't bother stepping in as I sat on a pile of mats. The blond dropped his clipboard and swung a fist at the demon, causing her head to jerk to the side. I blinked, and the next thing I knew, Spike was flying across the room as Wesley stepped in.

  "How goes it?"

  "I've been hitting the halfbreed. He makes noise." Illyria smiled.

  "We're off to a bit of a rough start." Spike sighed, getting to his feet, and I merely watched them while stuffing my face. "But don't worry. I'll break her."

  "She's not a horse, Spike." Wesley made a face while the vampire put his hands on his hips. "You know, this room is equipped with automated training devices. You don't have to test her by just allowing her to pummel you."

  "We're workin' on the basics." Spike pointed. "But don't worry, I'm writing it all down."

  "Okay, fine." The ex-Watcher sighed, crossing his arms as the demon circled over to him.

  "You reek of frustration. Curls off of you like smoke."

  "Actually, love, we call that scotch. Twelve-year Lagavulin, if I'm not mistaken. Good choice."

  "It's nothing. I'm just, uh, I had a slight disagreement with Angel."

  "Oh, old broody pants got you wound up, eh? Keep in mind he can't get laid without maybe goin' crazy. Makes it funny." Spike popped off, and I snorted, trying not to choke on my food.

  "In my time, a leader would punish your insolence with death."

  "We're not being insolent, Illyria." Wesley waved his hand, and Spike shifted on his feet.

  "I am."

  "It's just, uh, I don't always understand Angel."

  "Yet you follow him willingly. You're loyal to him."

  "He's earned it. I trust he knows what he's doing."

~

  "You filthy harlot!" Spike growled after Illyria had thrown his clipboard after him through the double doors. "I'm gonna tear your neck out!" Spike did no such thing and ended up with his face on the floor as Illyria was stepping on his cheek.

  "You know, I'd usually be really pissed off seeing Spike get his ass handed to him, but since he's not bleeding, and you're not doing it out of malice, it seems rather amusing."

  "Guys, you wanna come here for a second?" Looking up, I saw Angel walking in with a teenager.

  "What is she?" He questioned, looking at Illyria.

  "She's, um, a- Well, to be honest, I really don't know. She's some sort of ancient demon."

  "She have any powers?"

  "Glad you asked." Spike was rubbing his neck now that he was standing. "So far, I've established that she can hit like a Mack truck, selectively alter the flow of time and, uh, possibly talk to plants."