Unknown Factors (Book One)

Ch.38: Of sweet pleasure

  I could hardly recall going with Pops and the Summers girls to the funeral home when they went to pick out a casket. To tell the truth, I was still hoping it was all just a bad dream.

  "The prices of different florists and the funeral home seems to be fairly competitive." Pops said as we were in the dining room eating dinner. Pops was sitting next to Buffy, helping her go over the work that had to be done for Joyce's funeral.

  "Let's just go with that. It's simpler."

  "Sure."

  "What color flowers?" Dawn asked as she sat back down at the table.

  "Uh, white. They're nice." Buffy replied.

  "Yeah."

  "What about the announcement?" Buffy asked as Willow came back from the kitchen with a pitcher of water. "People are gonna expect a wake after the burial unless we say something."

  "Um, well, we could put a line in the program expressing your mother's preference not to have one." Pops said while taking off his jacket.

  "There's no wake?" Willow asked.

  "Mom didn't like them." Buffy got a smile as she remembered something. "She said that potlucks are depressing enough as it is."

  "She said that? When?" Dawn asked.

  "Uh, right before she went in for the operation. We had a talk about what she wanted, in case...." Buffy trailed off as her smile fell.

  "She never said anything to me."

  "I'm sure she just didn't want to upset you, Dawnster." Xander said. "Now, you better get workin' on that dinner. You barely touched it."

  "You really should eat something." I glanced up at her.

  "Why should I? You're not."

  "This isn't about-" Buffy was cut off by the phone ringing. "I'm all phoned out." She sighed. "Will you?" The blonde turned to Pops. "Oh, unless it's my dad."

  "Of course." Pops picked up the phone. "Hello? Yes. Yes, they did. Thank you. Um, the funeral is at 3:00 tomorrow." Pops rose to his feet. "Do you know the Brown Brothers Mortuary?" He asked while walking out of the room. 

  "Can't believe he still hasn't called."

  "Your dad's still AWOL, huh?" Xander looked at Buffy.

  "The number he left for us in Spain is no good, a-and I've left messages everywhere. Um," Buffy looked down at the papers on the table "how 'bout a line that just says, 'Following the burial, there'll be no wake'- o-or gathering?" She looked at us. "'A-At the request of Joyce, there will be no gathering'? Ugh, that sounds lame." The blonde woman rubbed her forehead.

  "What are we gonna do? After, I mean. Are we just gonna come back here?" Dawn raised one shoulder.

  "Uh, I-I don't know. I guess so. Um, how about, 'At the request of the family, there will be no wake.'"

  "Good. Yeah. It's got flow." Xander said after Willow went back to the kitchen.

  "I don't want to be here." Glancing up, I put a hand on Dawn's.

  "Where do you wanna go?" I asked her lowly while Buffy and Xander were discussing the funeral.

  "Can I go to Willow's?" Giving her a small smile, I looked toward the kitchen.

  "I don't think it'll be a problem. Ask Willow, she's coming back now." I said while listening to the redhead's footsteps.

  "Can I go to your place tomorrow?" Dawn looked at Willow as she sat a bowl down on the table.

  "Tomorrow?"

  "After everything?"

  "Um, well, maybe you and Buffy should- I-I don't mind." Willow replied, and Dawn turned to her sister.

  "Can I?"

  "Huh?" Buffy and Xander looked up from the papers.

  "Can I go to Willow's tomorrow after the service?"

  "Um, if you want to. I guess so."

  "I'll, uh, get my sleeping bag out of the attic." Dawn got up and walked away. Staring down at my plate, I wanted to eat, but I just didn't have the heart to. I had a high metabolism, and keeping myself looking human took a lot of energy, so I picked up my fork and forced myself to eat. It was sort of like I was on autopilot because I couldn't even taste anything....

~

  "We commend to almighty God....our sister, Joyce Summers." The priest was saying as we stood around the casket. I stood next to Pops, behind Buffy and Dawn. "And we commit her body to the ground. Earth to Earth....ashes to ashes....and dust to dust." Looking at the sky, I wondered where Joyce's soul was. Where did it go after death? Were there Heaven-like dimensions just like there were Hell ones? "The Lord bless her and keep her. The Lord makes his face to shine upon her and be gracious to her. The Lord lift up his countenance upon her and give her peace."

  After the funeral was over and the sun was beginning to set, everyone left. I stood next to Buffy, just staring at Joyce's grave. When Dawn walked back to Willow and Tara, Tara came up and tapped Buffy's shoulder.

  "Hey. Um, Dawn's kind of ready to go. Can we take her with us?"

  "Yeah." Buffy nodded. "She should probably get out of here."

  "What about you? We can wait if you want."

  "I'm fine. Thank you." Tara got this look on her face, and I put a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

  "Don't worry, Tara. I'm staying as well." She nodded and went back to Dawn and Willow before they all three left. Taking hold of one of Buffy's hands, I held it gently as we stood in front of the freshly turned dirt. I stayed with her even as night fell, but looked at her when a noise caught my attention.

  "Someone's coming." I whispered before glancing back out the corner of my eye in an unnoticeable way. "A tall male, short, dark hair....I can't make out the face, but it's a vampire." Buffy looked at me. "Do you want me to take care of it?"

  "No, but you can leave now." She said.

  "Why?"

  "I know who it is."

  "....Angel?" Sighing when Buffy nodded, I put my hands into my pockets. "Okay."

  The following day, Dawn came into the Magic Box and helped out while I spent my time in the training room. Being occupied with something seemed to make me feel the tiniest bit better. However, I was still more or less just going through the motions.