Unknown Factors (Book One)

Ch.76: Ate your blood and I kill my pain

  "I love being single." I heard Xander saying as I brought in a box of Willow's stuff. "I'm a strong successful male who's giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future."

  "Strong, successful males say 'giddy'?" Buffy smiled.

  "I just worry about her, that's all."

  "Anya?" Willow asked.

  "Yeah, she seems so sad." Xander turned while putting his hands into his pockets, and I set the box onto the edge of the bed before going out to grab another one from the living room. Honestly....I hadn't even heard from Anya in a while.

~

  Blowing out some air through my mouth, I strolled down the long, dimly lit hallway before turning the corner and finding the vampire huddled between some boxes and a shelf full of books. Crouching in front of him, I tilted my head.

  "I brought you something." The vampire seemed to pause at hearing my voice before slowly looking up. "I thought it'd be more substantial than the rats." Sighing, I held up the paper bag I had carried in with me. He laughed, his eyes wandering around as I felt my mouth fall into a flat line. "Spike, you need to get out of here. Look at you, this place is killing you. This is the Hellmouth, there is something bad down here, and you don't need to be around it."

  "Can't hear you, can't hear you."

  "Spike, look at me." I said, but he kept his gaze at the floor. "Look at me." Growling, my tail smacked the stack of boxes, creating a loud thump that startled the blond vampire into looking at me. "You need to get up and leave this basement. Staying here like this isn't good for you."

  "....I don't have anywhere else to go." He said softly.

  "I'll find you somewhere if I have to." Raising the paper bag again, I gestured with my head to it. "Now, eat." Spike looked a bit confused, but tentatively took the bag and looked inside it. "Don't worry, it's not human. Well, of course, it's not human, you can obviously smell that. I got it from the butcher's shop- I can't imagine you like feeding off of rats." Glancing around, I stood up and retracted my tail. "I'll be back."

  I went to leave, but he grabbed my pant leg to stop me while sniffling.

  "I don't deserve this kindness."

  "Don't make me shove it down your throat, William. Eat."

~

  Balancing my cup of pens and pencils on my forehead, I boredly spun in my chair. I didn't have to talk to any kids right now, so I had to find something to occupy my time until one came in or was sent in. Setting down the cup, I turned to the computer on the desk and chewed on my cheek.

  Sighing, I rolled my shoulders and used Google to look up places Spike could possibly go. I browsed through cheap apartments, roommate ads, rooms in random places for rent, and more. I knew some basic criteria the vampire would need to live somewhere and based my search off of that.

  In the back of my head, I mulled over the thought of just sticking the blond into the basement, but I knew that really wouldn't be the best idea with how many people were already living in the house. His mental state was the main factor I was worried about, and I found myself chewing on a pencil while scribbling some places and their addresses down.

~

  "How'd it go with....?" Willow asked as Buffy walked in, referring to Anya since the Vengeance demon had killed quite a few people.

  "Taken care of." Buffy replied in a low tone. "She's still alive, don't worry. So are the people she...." The Slayer dropped her weapons back into the chest behind the comfy chair.

  "That's good." I popped off. "I mean....now you don't have to slay one of your friends."

  "Still puts quite a strain on the relationship." Buffy sighed. "What are you doing over there, Aud?"

  "Nothing." Quickly gathering up the papers covered in scribbled words. My ears and tail drooped from the look not only she gave me, but Willow as well. "Okay, don't be mad, but I'm trying to find a place for Spike to go."

  "Aud-"

  "Look, I know you hate him and all, but you've seen him. Being in that basement is like the worst thing-"

  "It's okay, Aud." Buffy raised her hand while calmly walking over. "I understand."

  "....You do?"

  "Well, you kind of did tell us how you felt about him. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to see him that way." Willow had a sympathetic look on her face as she crossed her arms.

  "Thank you." I sighed with relief. "I just can't let him stay down there all crazy...."

  "How about this, I'll even help you." Buffy sat next to me.

  "You will?" My ears and tip of my tail perked up.

  "If it'll make you stress eat a little less, definitely." She raised her eyebrows while looking over the papers as Willow got up to come over as well. "Not to mention it'll get him out of my sister's school."

  "True." I nodded, shifting in my seat as Willow sat on my other side. "But I....I don't know what's going on with me. I've seen love in various forms, through media and you guys, but none of it seems similar to what I'm experiencing- not fully, anyway."

  "What do you mean?" Willow slightly tilted her head.

  "....Seeing him hurt brings me physical pain, like a sharp stab in my chest, it's not just emotional. And it seems that no matter what, there's like this....pull." I rubbed my forehead while setting down the pencil in my other hand.

  "Pull?" Buffy quirked up a brow.

  "Like it's magnetic. Not exactly literally, but not quite metaphorically, either." Sighing, I leaned on the edge of the table. "Even before, it was like that, but it seems to have intensified since he came back. Not only that, there's like this hole....a void." I felt my face scrunch up as I tried to explain it to them the best I could, and Willow seemed to be thinking rather intensely.

  "Aud....what if-what if your kind- the, uh, demon half- are like animals in the mating sense? I-I mean, there's even other demons that do it, but they mate and keep the same mate for a long time before they even...." The redhead trailed off as I looked at her.

  "....God, I hope not."

  "I-It's not a bad thing!" Willow waved her hands. "I mean, it could have been worse."

  "Willow, this is Spike we're talking about here. Sure, he's helped out quite a bit but, it's still Spike." Buffy made a face.

  "I get that, but Buffy, this is also Aud." Willow glanced at me. "We don't know how her demon side is instinctively or culturally. What if, by chance, I'm not saying this is it, but what if Ustrina Augendae mate for life? Like w-wolves or swans?" My head banged against the table as I groaned. "Okay, maybe not, but this does seem a little more intense."

  "....Is this why you've been kind of....moody?" Buffy asked me.

  "I will admit, I've been overly stressed by the emotional turmoil that I don't understand."

  "Well, Spike's kind of loopy right now, but....do we know how his soul will affect him? I-I mean, historically, Angelus was worse than Spike, but when he's Angel...." The witch didn't finish as she looked at the Slayer, but she had made a valid point. None of us even knew what the blond vampire was like before he became a vampire, nor were there any historical records of him until he was with Angelus, Drusilla, and Darla.

  "Let's not get our hopes up here." Buffy dropped some of the papers she had been looking through. "Not to mention just imagining Spike being nice is rather disturbing."