I puncture skin with chalk
I paint a pattern of undoing on my bones, releasing the war traumas that they carry.
Three generations of butchery that tastes like gunpowder when you lick it dry
Suck up the marrow and taste the pyre
All the bodies they buried
I wonder if they'll ever be found
I'll lie like a corpse with them, bleeding out sin from a thousand bullet wounds
Ruination looks crimson when it spills
From newly made cut from severed arteries
Frayed and
They tried to sew me back together in hospital but
infection breaks skin where sterilisation can't reach
My infection is the devil's best work.
Did he ever tell you grief is a creature born of tender creation?
He dipped her in holy water and sent her away.
She gnaws on bones to feed and I
Have three generations of them.
I gave them to her for the price of my soul
She diluted them in the faintest caress from her tongue
When she slipped into my skin she told me what a nice body it was, this body, the body that tore out my mother's tongue, the body that made my dad buy a gun, the bodythebodythebody
Grief tells me it molds around her like syrup and I tell her to take my skin
She gives me five dollars in exchange but the doctors make her give it back.
I don't want it until it's scrubbed clean.
They sewed up the cuts
My arm, a teething toy I spat out
They asked me why I liked digging so deep and I told them
I have three generations of bones inside me and they're engraved by my executioner.
They're history and I like to listen to their sweet stories
They tell me I'm strong and it's only them I believe.
So I carve some more so that they can whisper to me.
The doctors told me to empty my pockets
I pulled them out until I was barren
Wrapped them in newspaper and dropped them into the sea
I don't know if Grief can swim.
This poem seems kind of nonsensical but it has a meaning!! It's supposed to be obscure. The person it's about has gone through sexual abuse by a family member and is traumatized by it and grieving for that family member they used to know and trust. (The whole body mention and how the body hurt made their dad buy a gun and tore out their mother's tongue is how their body was ruined by their trauma and how the trauma is making their parents act.) The person has turned to self harm and is in a psychiatric ward for this, which is where the bones come in. They've had three generations of family who have been in wars. Knowing what their family went through gives the person a sense of strength.
